With a very special day in the middle of February coming up, you’re probably wondering what you’re going to do with your significant other, scratching your head until it is raw and bloody. You want to go somewhere exciting yet familiar, thoughtful yet convenient, something yet something else (look, the Rule of Threes can be hard sometimes). Seek no further because the best place to STUDY for midterms with your F.B. (Facebook buddy) is on campus! Of course, you can’t just study anywhere (for legal reasons): you need the right ambience, some privacy, and something else we’re sure (seriously, forget the Rule of Threes for now). There are the obvious choices, of course: the upper floors of DP, the Orifice, and the smoke stack on the north side of campus, but you want to really make an impression this year to make up for your partner walking in on you studying by yourself with a picture of her sister. To help you out, we’ve prepared this list of the top places to study at uWaterloo.
MC Comfy Room:
Foxtrot your way over to the Math and Computing building for a study experience like no other. At the comfy room by the Math CnD, you and your partner can study in comfort, and even eat snacks while you do it. The plush seating is an ideal environment in which to analyze those curves. Now you might be worried that the math kids might get a little bit rowdy, R-O-W-D-Y, but don’t worry only Arts students do that (no disrespect intended – we in no way mean to offend any Arts majors reading this paper. No, the mathies will likely be too shy to confront you about your enthusiastic studying habits and would likely just watch, perhaps being moved to study by themselves.
DC Fishbowl:
Uniform conventions tend to be opposed to studying out in public, and insist that studying be done behind closed doors. On the contrary, the exhibitionist in you and the voyeurs in us suggest otherwise. In the DC Fishbowl you can study such that all can look but they can’t touch it. If they touch it then they’ll start some drama, and they don’t want no drama. You can pretend that you are like squids at SeaWorld, being abused by your cruel trainers as you learn new tricks. Although this area is technically off-limits we are confident that as Engineers you will be able to finish studying with plenty of time to spare before you are kicked out, although we can’t say the same about your partner.
The Mike and Ophelia Lazaridis Quantum-Nano Center:
Charlie Chaplin was exiled near the end of his career for being a communist sympathizer. Privacy isn’t always a bad thing, and a tramp like you could learn a thing or two from Charlie. In the QNC you can get the single most important criterion for a good study space: isolation. There are other great aspects to the QNC which make it a prime locale for your studious endeavours. The special lab-spaces will absorb any vibrations cause by pounding your fists, the HEPA filters will take care of body odours caused by your strenuous efforts, and on the off-chance that you actually run into a late-working grad student, simply employ the Rule of Threes and let them help you out with your studying.
Multi-faith Prayer Room:
Kilo by kilo you will be burning the glucose (and fructose, if you’re into that …) but you cannot achieve enlightenment by brute force alone (unless you’re into that …). At the multi-faith prayer room in SLC, the two of you can train your mind and soul by practicing ancient arts such as boko-maru, the Kama Sutra, and tantra. You can also book it for a big group of people who want to study together. UofT isn’t the only school that knows how to throw a study party.
B1 bathroom:
Mike, pay close attention to this point. There is a girls’ bathroom in B1 with an interior waiting room. This room has nothing in it but a couch. This room has no windows. It locks from the inside. It was built for studying.
The Iron Warrior Office:
“Echoes are like life, what you send out comes back to you many, many times. Practice loving kindness.” This was once said by Grand Master Choa Kok Su, and we couldn’t agree more. And so we have decided to share with you our single greatest study-space on campus. The Iron Warrior office has been used by EICs, TSNs, and their F.B.s to study for years. Located at E2 2349A, the office is home to couches for comfort, computers for inspiration, no windows for privacy, and plenty of Topz (With a Z) articles to get you in a productive mood. Now, there is a locked door, and the combination is only given to those who can be trusted with the responsibility. And to show that you’re responsible, why not lend a helping hand and study with the Iron Warrior staff?
So while those other suckers will be out this year at fancy restaurants and expensive hotel rooms studying, you clever Engineers will be able to be frugal, efficient, and frugal. Who knows, maybe you’ll run into us studying! If so, it is of critical importance that you do not make eye-contact. In that state, we will interpret it as a threat. Should you find yourself in such a situation be sure to stretch out your arms to appear as big as possible and make lots of loud noises. This will make us finish studying sooner.
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