In a predictable turn of events this past week, the recently elected VP Education of Engineering Society “B” have resigned. This move, another chapter of a seemingly endless storyline, has left the Engineering Society continuing to search for someone to fill the role.
The two students sharing the role, Orysia Soroka and Megan McNeil, stated at the last executive meeting, “We thought it would be fun to make this some sort of record so, in the interest of getting into the books, we’re out of here. Go team!” As they prepared to depart, the two let out a loud shriek and combined into OrGan MOMS, a great pink demon who announced it was answering its calling to be a wedding planner before departing on a rainbow path to the sky, leaving puffy clouds and general confusion in its wake.
However, this enthusiasm was not shared by the Chief Returning Officer, Jon Martin. Jon has spent the entire term trying to find someone who can fill the role, only to see what looked like a tiresome success crumble away like the Quebec Bridge. Jon said, “I could really use a coffee and a hug. Does anyone have a coffee and a hug for a tired CRO?”
This move has also sparked a protest with members of B-Soc who, despite not having the motivation to simply run for the position and end the fray, have been protesting the resignation of the members, chanting the word “ratify” repeatedly. The students have organized classroom lockout and sit in on the POETS patio that will not likely see an end anytime soon. Students protesting have been seen wearing green squares. One protest organizer, who asked to remain anonymous, told our correspondents, “I don’t really know what the colour means – I think some guy brought a big green blanket for the campout and so we just cut it up. It’s also, like, the same colour of trees and frogs. You gotta protest the environment right? I don’t actually know why I’m here.” The protests have left some damage to the Douglas Wright Engineering Building, which is now under repairs despite the continued protests.
The fervor surrounding the VP Education position has reached a fever pitch. In an attempt to extinguish the issue, the B-Soc Executive have released an open plea to the engineering student body to offer their application for the position. When asked if he should be approached with new candidates, Jon replied,”Yes! Please, please, please send in your platform. If you do I’ll share my Star Wars Blu-ray boxed set with you.” Until there is a resolution, the student protest will likely continue to rage on in irony.
OrGan MOMS has been rumored to still be lurking in the dark corners of the engineering district. The University of Waterloo Police Service have issued an open call for tips and are offering a UW laser gun as a reward for the capture of this creature.
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