*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***
Due to Waterloo’s unique co-op term structure, most engineering students identify as A-soctual or B-soctual, depending on their academic and soctual preferences. Most engineering students experiment with different soctualities at least once in their time at Waterloo, but there has never been such a public display of bisoctuality on campus until the beginnings of the Nanotechnology Engineering program, which was the first organized group of openly bisoctual students. Unfortunately, Waterloo still has much to learn about life as a bisoctual and how to make us a waaay bigger part of our university. Take a glimpse into the mysterious lives of bisoctual nanos on campus.
Bisoctuals in (Eng)Society
As a bisoctual, it’s tough to feel like you are at home in either the A or B-soctual societies. Bisoctuals need to find someone else who is comfortable enough with their soctuality to be their partner. With this caring and understanding relationship, bisoctuals are more ready to bring their diversity into public. A bisoctual has never been President of the EngSoc, however many have made their way into these positions that are orders of magnitude larger than ever before. Society in Waterloo tries its best to be accommodating to bisoctuals, however it is unavoidable that we seem uncommitted to a long term relationship with either soctuality. In other engineering groups, the same divide of soctuality makes intimate relationships challenging for bisoctuals. While we may represent a very, very small part of the world, bisoctuals are engineers just the same.
Bisoctuals in bed 😉
Bisoctuals are easily the best in the sack. We bring both chemistry and erectricity to any soctual encounter. We don’t care if it’s top down or bottom up, because we do it both ways. We are experts at the backside attack and can express any multiplication skill suggestively. Some people say size matters, but bisoctuals are always finding ways to go deeper. Its not about how much bulk you have when you can make it harder, stiffer, and go from elastic to plastic in a matter of seconds. Our ability to lay millions down on their substrates and excite their electrons is unparalleled.
Employers love an engineer with an eight month work placement
While many bisoctuals complain about how long their work and school terms are as they grow older, employers have shown they are one of the quickest groups to embrace our soctuality and they drool over the size of our huge co-ops. Telling an employer during an interview that you’re willing to make an eight month commitment will score you mega bonus points and they’ll be much more eager to throw those dollar bills at your cleaved silicon bonds.
Even the university accepts us
Not only do employers support our way of life but even the University of Waterloo is learning to accept bisoctuals for who they are. Even though the University is responsible for the rise of bisoctuality in the last decade, they have struggled to be fully supportive and understanding of the role we play. After promising the original bisoctuals a community centre on campus where they could intermingle and fraternize, the University has pushed back the building of this elaborate facility (the $160 million state-of-the-art Questioning and Nonsoctual Centre) multiple times. With the second generation of bisoctuals released into the world, it’s unclear even at this point whether the third generation of bisoctuals will be able to make use of these facilities. With rumours of the QNC being completed by Summer 2012, it looks like the University is finally ready to embrace bisoctuality on campus completely.
Nanos aren’t the only ones
We talked a lot about the smaller bisoctuals, and it sounds those who experiment with both A-soctuality and B-soctuality are in the minority. You would be surprised to know that at over half of you were bisoctuals too! We were all born bisoctual in our 1A term but many rebounded with 1B not two weeks later, experimenting with new soctual frontiers. This experience, while often forgotten, was an engineer’s first experience with both A and B-soctuality. For those who didn’t jump ship in first year, most of you get to experience your first trans-soctual experience as mature 4Bs. Remember you were just as bisoctual as we are once upon a time!
Everything will be okay, we promise
As a personal message to all bisoctuals, it gets better. By fourth year, all your peers will have had at least one term experimenting in both types of soctuals. Remember that while some monosoctuals may think you are too promiscuous now, everyone will one day understand how fabulous bisoctuality can be.
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