Yo dogs, we heard you like comedy so we wrote comedy about comedy so you could laugh while you laugh. Anyone – even you – can be the next great comedian, partaking in a rich history from Pagliacci to Dane Cook. However, there are certain advanced methods to the trade that allow for you to be funnier than a man wearing woman’s clothing. Well, without any further dilly-dallying, let’s get right into it!
Wordplay: Wordplay has been called the lowest form of humour, but it is these writers opinion that such elitism is to be pun-ished. Puns are a great way to show off your cleverness; after all, being able to think of words that sound similar is no easy feat! And let’s not forget that this great tradition dates as far back as Billy (take that, establishment!) Shakespeare, and the Bard was known for little else (after the failure of his luchador wrestling career as the Merchant of Menace).
Enthusiasm: THIS ONE IS PRETTY ESSENTIAL! JUST LIKE MUSIC, JOKES ARE BETTER WHEN LOUDER! ALSO, IF YOU CAN, MAKE SURE TO MOVE AROUND A LOT AND USE FUNNY VOICES. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, IT’S HOW YOU LOOK WHEN YOU SAY IT. FACT: HANDSOME PEOPLE ARE FUNNIER. SO BEFORE YOU TELL YOUR JOKE, SPEND A LOT OF TIME DOING YOUR HAIR TO LOOK MESSY TO FIT YOUR PERSONA. BECAUSE THEN, PEOPLE WILL HEAR YOUR JOKE AND BE ALL LIKE “AHAHAHA!” AND IF YOU’RE ALL LIKE “AHAHAHAHA!” FIRST, THEY’LL BE INDUCED TO LAUGH TOO! It’s that easy!
Memes: Some people might be inclined to think of memes as a new phenomenon brought on by the age of the internets, that they were just poofed into existence by some selfish genie. Some of you might be asking “What you talking ‘bout, Willis?”, but even before the age of the tubes, brilliant minds were saying things that people around them had said before to make things funnier. But, fortunately for us, the bountiful bevy at our disposable is larger than ever before. Want to complain about a professor? Even the most generic and tired of cliches becomes sensational if written over a picture of Engineering Professor! Don’t even think of telling a story online unless it’s in the form of Rage Comics. And best of all, the medium founded on its simplicity and personal touch has been improved to be a system of images you paste into comic panels, like those games from grade school!!11one!! Meme’s are like an inside joke, that millions of people are “inside” on, which makes them even better! Our kindergarten teachers have never steered us wrong.
Sex and Cussing: Now this one is for the daring among you. Naughty-no-no words are forbidden and their mere utterance are in-dick-itive of a man or woman who is willing to be edgy. This phenomenon is perhaps best explained by Mr. Patrick Star who describes them as “sentence enhancers” which can be thrown into sentences to make them fancier. Sexual vernacular and innuendo are even more effective, as they allude to a mystic practice that only an elite sect of humans have partaken in over the course of civilization, something so amazing that unfunny proles or lesser species couldn’t dream of understanding. So, if you’re up to the formidable challenge, try to find sexual meaning in ordinary sentences. The path to mastering it is hard, long and dark, but if you can handle this load, we recommend you take it.
References/Allusions: Being able to relate something to something else is nothing short of brilliance. There are two types of successful allusions: those that are ubiquitous and those that are esoteric. The former is easy, as you simply have to bring up something that is in the popular media. People are placated by the mention of the song they heard recently or the joke that someone famous made and then you get to glow in your excellence. Esoteric references are even easier. They don’t even have to be much thought-out as the joke is really just a vehicle by which to stroke yours and the listener’s egos with a congratulations on being so learned on a tidbit of trivial minutia. Your joke can be greeted by a rousing rendition of John Cage’s 4’33”, but if even one person catches the reference, you’re golden. Also, if ever accused of plagiarism, you can just say that it’s a reference, parody or homage. For example, who can forget Watson and Crick’s knee-slapping parody of Rosalind Franklin?
Plagiarize: This section has been removed in accordance with UW policy 71.
Going Meta: For the learned wit, jokes are never tired, lazy or lame; they’re intentional, ironic and meta! Meta-humour is anything but easy; it requires a keen ability to believe you’re better than other people and daringly clever. And if you’re even more self-indulgently awesome, try meta-meta humour to be the cleverest maiden in all the land!
So, friends, now you’re ready to joke with the big boys, and maybe one day you can compose the next great comedic concerto, and have your work stand among such giants as Big Bang Theory or Two and Half Men. We’re confident that you’ll be able to be even funnier than when a straight man is confused for a gay man.
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