A&E, Humour

PCP-Shave

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

As we walk through the hallways, there are many indicators that tell us apart: Gender, race, height, and size are among the most common ones. But one, which tends to be ignored nowadays, is how we see people who have taken the time to properly groom and tidy their facial hair, and those who prefer the look of hobos or monsters.

I am, of course, on the side of the properly groomed, professional look of always being clean shaven. This is because we all live in a world where people will be judging you. Keeping a professionl appearence will always get you on the good side of anyone, whereas it can go either way if you choose not to be clean. When you go into an interview or a new workplace, having a beard or any kind of facial hair makes the people around you say, “This guy is lazy. He can’t even take the time to properly shave. How do we really know that he will be able to do a good job for our company.” First years, if you didn’t get a job in the first round, one of the reasons might have been this.

Another reason it is important to be clean shaven is it gives a more positive image when meeting new people, in a non-professional way. Yes, I admit that there is the possibility that someone might view a guy (or girl) with a beard as mysterious, but we are in university now. Only high school girls fall for the mysterious guys, and they’re underage, so you don’t want them anyways.

Lastly, if you have a beard, no one will want to touch you, except maybe high school girls who have never touched one before. This is because rubbing your face against someone’s beard is like having a plethora of tiny spiders crawling on your face. Even if you aren’t an arachniphobe, that is still completely disgusting. It also itches, A LOT, and while I cannot deny that the slight tickle of the beard may be nice, too much will have you running away from any kind of hair ever again.

So that concludes the argument on why you should shave, and why you should never have beards. I could have gone into the argument of why chest, leg, and other areas with hair should also be shaved, but that would be an entire paper, so I will be cutting it off at this. If you have a beard, or were thinking of growing one, make sure it doesn’t affect your professional or personal relationships. And if you are growing a beard for high school girls, you might want to consider getting checked out on it.

1 Comment

  1. Alanna Vanden Kroonenberg

    this is a picture of the author

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