Greetings B-Soccers, I’m sure you may be wondering, “Who is that sexy man talking to me from the newspaper machine?”
Well, that’s an interesting question my friend, and why is the newspaper a machine? It is paper and ink.
But back to the topic at hand. My name is Brockgraeme Scottkopp (pronounced Brockgraeme Scottkopp). I am a student of Journalism Engineering (now in 1B – woohoo!) and avid Amateur Marine Spelaeologist. But enough about me.
One of the things I enjoy most is bicycling. I have a very nice bicycle, with very shiny wheels, you should check it out sometime, you would like it.
Something I take very seriously in my cycling adventures, which you must join me on someday, is safety.
The most important aspect of bicycle safteying is keeping that head of yours safe. This is something I’m sure most of you do, but is nonetheless important. It is also important not to confuse bicycling head safety with sexual head safety, using a condom in lieu of a helmet, although quite fashionable, will not protect that pretty little noggin of yours from trauma. If you do feel so inclined you may wear a condom on your head underneath your helmet.
With that in mind, even with a helmet, the best option would be to not crash your bicycle whilst riding it, thus avoiding damage to your head and other more tender parts of your anatomy. To do this, ensure that you do not bicycle into oncoming traffic (this may seem to be an obvious tip, but at least one person just had an epiphany) or better yet, do not bicycle in the road at all. Cars (which are indeed machines) are unpredictable and could transform into robots at any moment, as seen in the film Jurassic Park. It is best to steer clear.
For those who are forced into a position where they must use their bicycles near cars (a dangerous game, like Jumanji) it is important to remember, the best defence is a good offence, which does not only apply to sports and war and euchre, but also bicycle safety. If a car gets too close for comfort, punch it in the face, that should deter it.
But I digress.
Homophones. While the word “homophone” sounds like no other word (except maybe gramophone), homophones in fact refer to a subset of words in the English language which are pronounced the same as another word, but mien different things. Their most prevalent in written works by students who think English is a useless topic that everyone knows (id est engineering students). But don’t be won of those people who think homophones should be taken two lightly, while seemingly a miner issue, an engineer who can’t spell looks stupider than a person without a twitter account.
Work term reports, something I’m sure many of you are aware of, are won of the most important places to check for homophones.
With your new found knowledge, I hope you go fourth into the word a better person. For a complete list of mistakes you shouldn’t make, checkout http://tinyurl.com/brockgraemeforthewin
For more general inquiries regarding cycling, homophones or spelaeology feel free to contact me via twitter. I will most likely laugh at you for not knowing about what you ask me.
Until later
Hugs and Hugs
Brockgraeme Scottkopp
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