In a shocking piece of recent news, the current Engineering Society VP Finance, Jon Warren, has been officially declared missing. Additionally, it was discovered in the past week that the Engineering Society Corporate and General accounts have been emptied of all available funds. No further information is currently available, and Engineering Society representatives have been unavailable for comment.Jon Warren was first officially instated as VP Finance in the Winter 2011 term. Since his start, he has been widely accepted as one of the most disruptive and destructive Vice-Presidents in recorded EngSoc history. His initiatives have included the purchase of a “Laser Death Tank”, a decision which cost tens of thousands of student-funded dollars and caused significant legal complications during transport. The purchase has since been declared a waste due to its unsustainable energy requirements, and unreasonable military licensing requirements.To help resolve this, Jon Warren signed a long-term partnership with Jakubowski Sustainable Energy Industries to provide “feline-powered energy to the Waterloo Region”. The initial proposal was quickly approved by council, but only under the impression that it was comical in nature. Only after official contractual documents were discovered in Jon Warren’s mailbox after his disappearance, were his true actions revealed.When the Tin Soldier investigated the recently vacated offices of JSEI, documents were found that indicated the energy plan had suffered a catastrophic failure. It would appear that significant complications arose when it was realized that the entire province of Quebec would be required to house the energy project, and that the acquisition of 393 billion cats would cause unreasonable strain on the global production of Fancy Feast.Jon Warren since received significant criticism for his actions, escalated by his weak defence of “well you guys thought it was a good idea too.” He was recently reported to be despondent, but with a hint of mischief. Persons who have worked closely with Jon, but who wish to remain anonymous, have been quoted as saying “well, he has been saying the entire time that he’s going to clean out the accounts and flee the country, so it isn’t all that surprising that it just happened.”
VP Finance, EngSoc Funds Declared Missing
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In a shocking piece of recent news, the current Engineering Society VP Finance, Jon Warren, has been officially declared missing. Additionally, it was discovered in the past week that the Engineering Society Corporate and General accounts have been emptied of all available funds. No further information is currently available, and Engineering Society representatives have been unavailable for comment.
Jon Warren was first officially instated as VP Finance in the Winter 2011 term. Since his start, he has been widely accepted as one of the most disruptive and destructive Vice-Presidents in recorded EngSoc history. His initiatives have included the purchase of a “Laser Death Tank”, a decision which cost tens of thousands of student-funded dollars and caused significant legal complications during transport. The purchase has since been declared a waste due to its unsustainable energy requirements, and unreasonable military licensing requirements.
To help resolve this, Jon Warren signed a long-term partnership with Jakubowski Sustainable Energy Industries to provide “feline-powered energy to the Waterloo Region”. The initial proposal was quickly approved by council, but only under the impression that it was comical in nature. Only after official contractual documents were discovered in Jon Warren’s mailbox after his disappearance, were his true actions revealed.
When the Tin Soldier investigated the recently vacated offices of JSEI, documents were found that indicated the energy plan had suffered a catastrophic failure. It would appear that significant complications arose when it was realized that the entire province of Quebec would be required to house the energy project, and that the acquisition of 393 billion cats would cause unreasonable strain on the global production of Fancy Feast.
Jon Warren since received significant criticism for his actions, escalated by his weak defence of “well you guys thought it was a good idea too.” He was recently reported to be despondent, but with a hint of mischief. Persons who have worked closely with Jon, but who wish to remain anonymous, have been quoted as saying “well, he has been saying the entire time that he’s going to clean out the accounts and flee the country, so it isn’t all that surprising that it just happened.”
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