Good morning Sexy Readers!
I hope you’re doing well and that this past weekend was a time for fun, food, family, and fruitful relationship building. I know mine wasn’t. However, there are many other things in this world that are even better for bringing things together than forced familial contact. Yes boys and girls, I’m talking about Duct Tape. Duct tape is one of the manliest substances alive. It’s impossible to resist the call of the sweet silver strands, and its usefulness is beyond all forms of measurement. It’s a known fact that duct tape has been the source of man’s greatest achievements since the dawn of recorded existence. Originally developed by the military, Duct tape has expanded to the toolbox of every man everywhere. But what can you do with it? Well, just about anything really. Weave it, stretch it, roll it and sew it. If you can think of it, it can be done. So read onwards good people, to find out Chad Sexington’s top five manliest uses for duct tape!
1) Underwear. Want a pair of boxers that will last forever and feel like silk? Weave a pair with a high thread count roll of duct tape. If you feel so inclined, leave the sticky side in so you don’t have to worry about waistband issues. Duct tape boxers will look great, make you feel like a champion, and be the sturdiest fabric you’ve ever had keeping you safe.
2) Hammock. Got no place to kick back and relax? Easy, build one. With about 30 minutes of work and two strong trees (or houses) you can easily build a cocoon of luxury with a beautiful silver sheen. Throw in a few other colors of tape for extra aesthetics and curl up for a well deserved nap.
3) Parachute. MacGyver couldn’t do this one better if he was falling out of an airplane with nothing but a roll of duct tape. Just make a large blanket and strap it on for a manly landing with grace and poise (do not attempt). Cuz mens gots grace and poise in spades dontcha know.
4) Fix your car. They don’t call it 200 mile and hour tape for no reason. Duct tape will hold your car panels together under the most extreme conditions. You can even make some fancy seat covers with it if you need a little extra protection. You should keep a roll in your trunk at all times just in case you need it for some roadside repairs.
5) Rock Climbing. Twisting up some strands of tape can give a high strength rope with a sticky end that can be used in a sticky situation. Wrap it around a large boulder and you’ve got a ready to go rappelling line. Just don’t forget to bring some extra in case you run out halfway to the bottom. So strap on a few rolls and hit the hills when you’re feeling bored, you’re sure to find yourself in all kinds of interesting scenarios (don’t try this either).
That brings us to the end my sexy readership, and next time you’re feeling bored or out of touch with your family and friends, grab a roll or two of this sticky stuff and bring yourselves together with a little fun project. There’s more you can do, you just need a little imagination and a lot of tape. Get to it!
Until next time,
Stay Sexy.
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