Can Scott still do a Backflip?

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Posted on: March 25, 2018

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

He always enthusiastically volunteers for stuff and we love him for being so helpful, but it’s been years since we’ve seen him successfully complete a backflip. Everyone knows it’s the backflips that make the dad jokes bearable. What happened?

Did our golden retriever puppy grow old and tired?

An anonymous source close to Scott revealed something that may illuminate the truth.

“I think he might be a father in disguise. That’s why he always tells so many dad jokes. He is a dad.” The source went on to say that they think Scott is only going to school because he wants to prove to his son that he could get into Waterloo if he tried hard enough. “I think he used to do backflips to prove he was young. To blend in. Now his age is catching up to him.”

So is Scott too old to do backflips? We consulted a backflip specialist who has conducted research on the effects of spawning offspring on backflip-ability. They revealed more research is needed to determine if this hypothesis is plausible.  

We may never know if Scott can still do a backflip. Someone should ask him.

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