Engineering Refugees Risk Lives to Cross Tracks to E5

Tired and Cranky - 4B Cynicism
Posted on: April 1, 2016

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Recent months have been tough on the citizens of UW. Students looking only to pursue greater knowledge and understanding of life, the universe and everything have been placed in increasingly compromising positions. It is time to take a stance my friends! Say no to the injustices! Not only are our lives threatened daily by vicious goose populations: fast moving trains and gaping holes of doom are now added to the trials and tribulations of our struggle towards the cold hard iron. (But not the cold hard iron of the train tracks, probably wise to stay away from those…)

Crossing the Tracks

At first the troubles started subtly. Walking paths started disappearing and the options for geese evasion became increasingly limited. After that it wasn’t long until the fences went up. The horror! What were the poor far-flung students of E5 and E6 supposed to do when running from one class to another? How is one to survive in this terrible economic climate when the only option is expensive plaza food at massively inflated prices or a lengthy walk to cheaper food?

Alas, what if you choose to trap yourself on the other side? What of long dark weekends when sources of sustenance are especially scarce? The choice between working or traipsing across the tracks in hopes that you won’t stumble on loose gravel or trip face first into concrete. The hillocks between tracks wait to grasp our feet and pull us down.

What then if the fences are up and secured? Having already lost the bridge to explosives, one is forced to rejoin the main road. Walk around, walk longer, walk further. Perhaps the promise of a time and energy saving train comes with a catch. To save energy there must be a larger upfront cost. Do they hope to extract an equal but opposite amount of energy to fund its completion? Our heavy steps to take the overhead passageways pay slowly for the convenience.

Bridging the Void

Crossing the many terrible train tracks is dangerous and hardship enough. Alas, for many that is not where it ends. In frigid winter months especially, the newly formed E7 chasm forces students from the refuge of E5 to trek through the whistling winds which blow hard upon the few scraps of pavement left for pedestrian movements next to the gaping hole of construction.

Remember, PURPLE LIVES MATTER. Respect the hallowed halls of this sacred academic refuge and bear through the constant disruption of the construction noises. We will make it to the other side. A place with more student space and better transportation infrastructure! Some day they will choose not to build again and there will be quiet.