#Innovate One, #IdeasStartHere

Posted on: March 29, 2016

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

On March 24th 2016, in the wake of an ice storm, Waterloo was covered by frozen paths, freezing temperatures, and power outages. The University of Laurier, being the reasonable human beings they are, decided to cancel classes for the day and gave students an early start to the Easter weekend. Meanwhile, the University of Waterloo, where the words “snow” and “day” are recognized as part of the English language but forbidden to be ever uttered in the same sentence, decided to keep classes open and reminded students to avoid all travel to class in lieu of their safety.

What follows are true account of the events in that day, for a (somewhat) reputable anonymous source.

“How the hell am I suppose to get to class without travelling, a teleportation device?!”

“You’re suppose to #Innovate one”


Faced with the challenge of #innovating a teleportation device, students from all faculties sprung into action:

The math students spent the entire morning solving parametric equations but soon realized that the limit does not exist. Soon after they gave up and played video games all the way to Easter Monday.

The arts students re-enacted a classic version of the song “Baby it’s cold outside” in hopes of anything happening ever.

The applied health science students took the bus to their (only) building on campus, but still managed to fall on the three steps leading to the front door. Luckily they studied applied health science and diagnosed their condition but, because they studied applied health science they were unable to do anything about it.

The science kids walked to classes carefully like a bunch of boring losers.

The engineers, still feeling the hangover effects of St. Patty’s exactly a week before, came to school expecting another EngSoc meeting and got more drunk.