“The Book”, given to “DUMB FROSH” in 1993, was the Engineering Society Handbook at the time. Not all the traditions within it survived, so the Iron Warrior thought to share them for the enjoyment of both frosh and upper years.
“The Ten Commandments
- Thou shalt honour THE TOOL.
- Thou shalt honour thy professor and thy T.A., for they are the source of thy marks.
- Thou shalt carry always thy Student Card, for without it, thou art nothing.
- Thou shalt not lose thy Bookstore receipt, for without it, thou art stuck with a shitty book.
- Thou shalt not park on the Ring Road, neither shalt thou park in the Cul de sacs.
- Thou shalt not eat at Food Services.
- Thou shalt not live in Village past the term of 1B.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s assignment, nor thy neighbor’s mate, neither shalt thou covet his programmable calculator.
- Thou shalt willingly lend thy assignments to those less fortunate.
- Thou shalt participate in all EngSoc events.”
“The Hierarchy of Life
THE TOOL
POETS
Plummers (you are here)
BEER
Batch
Photocopiers
Calculators
Old Midterms and Finals
Caffeine
Angels
Instant Teller Machines
Mortals
Ducks
Higher Primates
Suicide Chicken Wings
Dental Floss
Three Toed Sloths
The Bombshelter
Two Toed Sloths
Old Sweat socks
Fed Hall
Fungus
Light Beer
U of T Engineers
CENSORED
CENSORED
Teaching Assistants
CENSORED
American Beer
CENSORED
Co-ordinators
Food Services
Vomit
Used Condoms
Queens Engineers
American Light Beer”
“Plummers
You are now a plummer. Enough said.”
“Batch
Batch is UW’s most popular export.
Batch is the center of everything.
Everything revolves around Batch.
When you drink Batch, everything revolves.
Therefore, Batch is the center of everything.
How do I make batch?
Batch is made in large quantities (a very social drink). Batches can be made with either two or four (or eight or 16 or…) forties of Alcool. The following is a recipe for the two bottle batch variety (Consider it your first Chem 102 problem to figure out how to make the four bottle variety).
Two Bottle Batch
- 1 Family size cooler or key bucket
- 2 40 oz bottles of Alcool
- 1 can No Name California Style Iced Tea Mix or Nestle Tropical Iced Tea mix
- 1 bag of ice cubes (2 bags in the summer –Chem 102 problem #2)
- 1 oz milk to keep the calcium intake up (this is very optional)
- 1 box of Q-tips
- some Agwa (or water)
Invert the open 40’s into the cooler making tight circular rotations, creating a vortex, thereby causing a fast pour.
Add about 3 to 4 bottles of water per bottle of alcool.
Empty contents of can from a great height into the alcool (only a dumb frosh or a Queens Engineer would try that!).
Hurl the ice into the cooler at great velocity in an attempt to spill much as much alcool as possible (It would take a Ryerson Engineer with a metal plate in his head to follow this one word for word)
Mix the batch with the neck of the bottle while holding on to its base.
Add water to taste, then add some more if you’re a Batch virgin.
Consume with great respect for the power of Batch. Only a fool chugs Batch (or those poor ignorant souls who attend other schools and don’t believe us when we tell them what we put in it).
Insert a Q-tip behind your right ear, symbolizing nothing (or, insert behind your left ear and make everyone wonder).
When the Batch is done, bring all remaining Q-tips to the POETS patio for distribution as a warning that Batchers are on the premises.
Batch.
Batch is the center of everything.
If you plan things well, you could probably even get everyone else to pay for it. After all, carting around those 40’s of alcool is hard work.”
More traditions from “The Book” to come in future publications of the Iron Warrior!
The Iron Warrior does not encourage nor support underage drinking. Batch and all other alcohols should be enjoyed responsibly by students of legal drinking age. All information presented in this article is intended to provide a historical perspective onto some UW Engineering traditions from 1993.
It is also important to note that Food Services has changed a lot since the original publication date and that “the rivalry between UW and these lesser engineering schools (U of T, Queens…) has been ongoing for decades,” according to an anonymous source.
All excerpts are from “The Book”, dated 1993 credited to Colin Young et al.
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