The University of Waterloo Alternative Fuels Team (UWAFT) have shifted their focus from fuel cells to a new source of energy that is all around us: gravity.
“See, if we could utilize gravity, our fuel would be free of carbon impact, low technology, and always available.”, said a team spokesperson who wishes to remain anonymous, presumably too fearful of punishment by the team for revealing their newfound technology. He continued to say, “I cannot believe people have not thought of this before, gravity has been around for decades.”
Although confidential, the Tin Soldier Investigative Bureau managed to obtain leaked photos of UWAFT’s new gravity powered car. Sleek, efficient, and aesthetically pleasing, the new car is expected to reach top speeds close to that of an excited sloth, while being able to brake faster than a dog on skates. When asked about why the car only has three wheels, the unnamed spokesperson responded rhetorically with, “The better question is, why do most cars have four wheels?” Having had his mind blown, this Tin Soldier correspondent could only look upon this three-wheeled masterpiece in awe.
As for how the vehicle works, it was difficult for the spokesperson to respond as it had not yet been tested. “You see, we don’t plan to test our car until directly before competition because we fear the vehicle may not withstand a multitude of tests.”, said the UWAFT rep. When asked how they expect their vehicle to stand up against full sized vehicles donated to competing teams the representative told me to “f*** off.” Upon further investigation, it became clear that this new UWAFT design greatly resembled vehicles being built by 3B Mechanicals for their project based course, ME 380, just of much higher quality.
When asked if UWAFT envisioned a future of vehicles being powered purely by gravity, the team spokesperson answered with the response “Well, see we have the downhill part of travel pretty much figured out. It is the uphill part that is the challenge. If people ever want to travel against a slight grade, then this car becomes commercially unviable. If we can figure out this challenge, our vehicle will be the envy of the industry.”
Despite challenges in their way, the Tin Soldier is convinced that they have uncovered the future of the automotive industry in this ingenious gravity powered car. The University of Waterloo should be proud of yet another innovation. Behold the glory of the gravity powered car.
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