The recent incident involving offensive comments made by student politicians at the University of Ottawa has affected many students, and has sparked much discussion and a call for action among students in the National Capital Region as well as the rest of Ontario. The President of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO), Anne Marie Roy, was sent photos taken of a private conversation between four other elected student officials that graphically described the way one of them wanted to sexually degrade her, as well as comments by the others offering incentives and encouragement. This incident was made public when the photos were published online, and has now escalated into a viral debacle that involves campaigns calling for those four students’ resignation from their positions as well as involvement from the local news. I normally remain relatively quiet with my own opinions on sexism in today’s world, but the details of this incident in particular hit me too close to home for me to remain silent.
I would love to say that my own experience as a woman in student government have enforced beliefs of gender neutrality in student politics, but that would not be truthful. I also wish I could say that I have never experienced discrimination based on my gender, seeing as how this is 21st century Canada, where the gender gap is as slim as it has ever been. However, the truth is that girls are taught in subtle ways from a young age where our place is in society. A personal example of this took place when I was in the sixth grade, and played basketball in a boy’s city league; there was no equivalent girl’s league at the time. However, it was made quite clear by my teammates exactly how they viewed me (“Why would you pass to the girl? She can’t shoot a basket from there!”). Although I am sure this group of 12-year-olds did not intend for me to be excluded in such a way, I never truly felt like I had the right to be on that team. That is why, after 1 short season, I transferred to a lower-level girls team where I would not be able to play at the same athletic level, but at least I would be considered a viable teammate. This is but one of many examples of how young women are treated, albeit subconsciously, by their male peers from an early age, which can lead them to believe that they are somehow inferior and not as valuable.
Now fast-forward to high school, to the time when I was considering post-secondary options and decided that my future was in engineering. Although those closest to me were incredibly supportive, there were many who would say things like “It’s very tough academically and there aren’t many girls so it probably isn’t for you,” or even one person, who I spoke to in passing, that said to me, and I quote, “…but everyone knows that girls aren’t very good at math”. These comments did nothing but fuel my desire to prove them wrong, to not only graduate from an engineering program but also leave my mark on the University of Waterloo in a significant and positive way. But that is not to say that I was without self-doubt. In a society where women are still being groomed to think that they are only of value in “compassionate” careers, such as those involving health, children, education or hospitality, or careers that do not often involve heavy decision making or leadership, there will always be some resistance to going against the grain, even though technically the opportunity for equality is there.
After I arrived at university, I was still regularly faced with this problem. At times it felt as if people didn’t show much interest in me as a person, and instead were only interested in talking to me because I was female. Often, this would get to the point where they would get angry or pushy if I didn’t reciprocate their eventual advances, as if I owed them something for the time they invested in talking to me. It seemed ridiculous that that was my daily reality, while my male classmates never experienced such a thing. That’s not to say that I felt uncomfortable or threatened as a woman at Waterloo, but there should be awareness that this treatment of our female peers does happen, and on a regular basis.
That is also not to say that this treatment exists within engineering alone. Walking around in the Waterloo community, I have been whistled or yelled at more times than I can count, I have had food thrown at me and I have been spat on, and I have been chased and threatened while walking in a completely public place. Although I cannot definitively prove that these things happened to me because I am a woman, it is extremely unlikely that any of these things would have happened to a male in the same situation. It is for reasons like this why I become personally offended at the notion that we have already achieved equality and that feminists are simply loud-mouthed extremists. Although we have come a long way, there is still a long way to go before I will feel comfortable walking alone, even in my own neighborhood.
Now, I will address my experiences as a woman in student government, because although I have worked hard to get where I am, there will always be those who believe that I only succeeded due to the fact that I was elected to this position because I am something nice to look at, because I am female. That is not what feminism is about. I wish more than anything that I could be judged only by my own merit, my ideas, and accomplishments, rather than the body I was born into. It is not uncommon, while campaigning and even now, to hear or read comments about myself that are offensive and unnecessary, including those that are similarly degrading to what Anne Marie Roy is experiencing right now. It is a real shame that as women, we are forced to feel that we cannot simply be respected based on our achievements in our elected positions without having to endure the demeaning remarks that come with it. This happens all the time, right under our noses, to people that we care about, simply because they want to put themselves in the public eye and make life better for students in their constituency.
The point I am trying to make with this article is not that the life of a woman is hard and that all men should feel bad, but rather to think about yourself and how what you say and do affects the culture we live in and accept as the norm, everyday. The culture that surrounds us is one that is conducive of the remarks made about Ms. Roy, and does not consider them to be of any real harm. I am sure, however, that you could ask any of your female peers for personal examples of the way that women are still treated simply for aspiring to be more than the role society laid out for them many years ago, and receive eye-opening responses. Equality has come a long way by presenting the opportunity for women to hold the same positions as men, but the problem still exists that women who seek to hold positions of influence are treated differently than their male counterparts, and the culture of today’s society makes that totally okay. It is what makes women feel uncomfortable running for positions of leadership on campus, for not accepting society’s expectations of them, and making it their mission to leave a mark on the world.
I would like to quickly say something to the girls and women who are reading this and may be second-guessing their decision to pursue engineering or run for office – the best tool for change is for women to succeed, and to make no apologies to themselves or others for it! Conversely, the best way for men and women alike to help those aiming for the top is to not remain silent on the subtle and not-so-subtle ways our culture oppresses these women. Yes, the conversation about Ms. Roy was meant to be private, but it is alarming how none of her peers came to her defense. Instead, they allowed jokes to be made about how to sexually degrade her, and how riddled with venereal diseases she apparently is. These are people who work with her every day, people who she is supposed to trust. This is not how women who aspire to lead aught to be treated, especially not by their fellow students.
In closing, I ask you to think about what you see and hear on a daily basis in our community, and the impact it has on the culture we have created for ourselves. Until a woman can feel as comfortable and respected in a position of influence as a man would, we have not truly achieved equality. It will take all of our effort for us to get there.
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