Tin Soldier

Google’s New Satellite a Mystery

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Technology giant Google Inc. has begun construction of a massive satellite in geosynchronous orbit above Sydney, Nova Scotia. Google has not yet revealed a purpose for the satellite, which has been given the nickname “the Goon.”

The secrecy with which Google has shrouded the project has drawn some criticism, especially since the satellite began growing exponentially in size. Since the first pieces were launched last month from a previously-unknown space centre in Moscow, Idaho, the Goon has grown to nearly one tenth the size of the moon and shows no signs of slowing down.

As rockets bound for the Goon continue to launch, there has been a global public outcry that Google should give at least some indication as to what they plan to do with the satellite. However a spokeswoman for the only authority in a position to request answers, the UN’s International Telecommunications Union, claims that they had no legal right to do so. She told the New Zealand Herald that “two things are needed for an organization to [obtain an orbit]. They need need to request the orbit, and then fill it within a reasonable amount of time. Google has met both these criteria.”

While there is still little information about the purpose of the Goon, speculation has run wild. One of the most popular theories is that the satellite is a large data centre, which will get its power from the tidal forces between itself and the Earth, and cool itself using icy comets that become trapped in orbit around it. Others suggest that the Goon is nothing more than a publicity stunt.

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