Tin Soldier

UofT Skule Cannon Seen Smoking Crack Cocaine

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

The University of Toronto’s Skule cannon has been recently caught on video smoking crack cocaine. In the past, the Skule cannon has been accused of evicting paying passengers from a TTC bus, in the rain, so that it could pick up the Lady Godiva Memorial Band from football practice. The cannon was evicted as the supreme leader of the Skule when it acted in manner that was in direct conflict of interest of its role. This latest scandal further reduces the reputation of the already tainted cannon.

The Iron Warrior got a tip off from someone claiming to have incriminating evidence to prove that:

  • The Skule cannon smokes crack cocaine
  • There is a video of the Skule cannon smoking crack cocaine, taken within the last six months
  • Skule cannon purchased its crack cocaine from a crew of Toronto drug dealers that service a veritable who’s who of A-list mascots

This tipster however wants six figures to release this video. For this reason, the EngSoc fee has been raised by $5 to $21.50.

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