Hello Engineering People,
Eric: Last week, Graeme said that we would talk about how to pour beer (i.e. Getting Good Head. Wow, it’s the title of the article, it must be important!) Well, this week we will discuss this! My roommate/co-Tesla intern Mark and I picked up a bottle of Three Philosophers from the newly opened ‘Jane’s Beer Store.’ It’s a pretty awesome store that you should totally check out next time you’re in Mountain View, California.
Anyway, this bottle has directions for pouring on it. They read: “Pour slowly so as to not disturb the yeast sediment, but with enough vigour to create a luxurious head and release the sumptuous bouquet.” I’m not making this up… that sounds like directions for some good head. Overly convoluted wording aside, these directions do explain how you should pour beer for optimal results.
Listen up frosh, because here’s the directions. You should begin by tilting the glass and pouring the beer onto the side at a 45 degree angle. Do this for about 70% of the pour. For the last 30%, linearly change pouring angle (ϴp) from 45 degrees to vertical (0 degrees). This ensures that you create some head, but won’t leave you with a cup full of foam. You should do this fairly slowly, taking your time to get it right.
In other words:
ϴp(t) = (pi/4) + [H(t – 0.7) * (-pi/4) * (t-0.7) * 3.333]
Where ϴp is the pouring angle in radians, H(t) is the Heaviside Step Function and t is the time, given that t = 1 is the end of the pour.
I just poured another glass of Three Philosophers and my roommate commented that I give good head. You see, if you follow this formula, you can receive compliments on the quality of your head.
So let’s talk about the beer again. It’s a Belgian style beer that is a blend of cherry ale and Belgian ale. It’s from the Duvel family of beers, which means devil in Dutch (fun fact!)
Now that we’ve put the beer in the glass, it is time to drink it. Three Philosophers pours with a pretty thick head. It has a bit of a bitter taste up front, but a nice sweet finish. It’s a pretty complex taste; both Mark and I took a sip and said “I don’t even know what this tastes like!”
The cherry ale blend probably gives it that sweet fruitiness. It’s nice and smooth for a potent beer. Did I mention that it’s 9.8%? This made formulating the previous equation a bit difficult. Or as my roommate put it “Three Philosophers use 9.8% on Asian Mark. It’s super effective!”
I really enjoyed this beer. A sweet taste with tons of alcoholic goodness. It gets a solid 4.5/5 Surly Bartenders. It’s not the most easy-drinking beer, and you wouldn’t want it to be at 9.8%. However if you’re looking for a good beer to sit down and enjoy, you can’t go wrong with this one. Just don’t try to operate any heavy machinery afterwards.
Next time we’ll discuss the effect of timezones on one’s ability to submit articles on time.
Cheers,
Eric and Graeme (and Mark)
Leave a Reply