Welcome back, dear pursuers of the secrets to life and its expansion. Today we have a real treat of a topic to discuss today— the delicate, but devastating properties of dihydrogen monoxide, often abbreviated to DHMO, or hydrogen oxygen if you’re really feeling different.
This chemical is surprisingly commonplace in our everyday lives, although it might not be where you think to look. It is used regularly as a fire retardant, despite scientific studies suggesting that it in fact worsens the severity of oil-based fires. Various isotopes are used in the uranium enrichment process, and it is sometimes dubbed the “Universal Solvent”, as its potent dissolving properties enable it to entirely dissolve even strong crystalline lattice systems, such as sodium chloride. And yet despite this, it is insoluble in many strong industrial solvents, such as hexane, benzene, and toluene, and is known to cause instantaneous combustion when exposed to tert-butylithium, n-butylithium, and various other commonplace chemicals.
Much controversy surrounds the worldwide storage of DHMO, which produces massive amounts of industrial waste, filling landfills across the globe full of less-than-full containers. In addition, despite its natural occurrence, it is associated with massive structural damage on bridges, roads, and buildings across the globe. It also is medically determined to be one of the most common vectors for disease known in existence, and is a known promoter of weed growth and propagation.
More horrifying is just how common DHMO is in the general population. It is frequently found in large reservoirs across the globe, and is known to induce vomiting in humans unless treated extensively in a specifically designed purification plant. Children as young as -9 months have reported exposure to this chemical.
The intimidation of the chemical does not stop there, though. Historically, DMHO has been a known facilitator in the conduct of Nazi experiments. The Third Reich infamously dedicated research to developing stealth military weapons which were facilitated by the high concentration of DHMO in over 70% of the world’s territory. It is also conjectured to contain a memory of previous states by respected homeopathic experts, which could lead to development to horrific spying capabilities from NSA, NASA, and the NBA.
Despite all of these capabilities, we need not be so negative dear alchemists. I have research that I believe will prove that DHMO is one of the seventy-two key ingredients in synthesizing a proper Philosopher’s Stone. If we must instigate proper regulation on this most potent potion of sorts, I ask only that it still available for the sake of research purposes and the pursuit of true science.
Leave a Reply