Glorious Editor-in-Chief Cameron Soltys, Warrior King, King Warrior, Fat Man, The Nina, Leader of the Authoritarian Realms, Keeper of the Precious Lambda, Generalissimo of Kepler 452-b, and THE ONE WHO KNOCKS, announced a deal with Frites | Fries with BenefitsTM, providing us with sustenance for another term and beyond. The editor in chief is a glorious role, one that is necessary to ensure that we, the writers, always get our articles in on time. Without the EIC, there is chaos; the Editor brings order. We, the writers, would descend into anarchy, and we would never get our articles in on time. Who wants to live in a world like that? Hmm, these fries are really good. I recommend the Okonami.
Glorious Cameron, Guardian of the Purple Hard HatTM, has shown us the way of the future, and it is fries. No more pizza, for pizza is a thing of the past, taking its place with the typewriter, full plate armour, the Backstreet Boys, and Beanie Babies. Fries, fries are the future, at least for the immediate future while we still have an immense surplus of Frites store credit. This sweet chili dipping sauce is the greatest, here, try some.
We, the writers, who always submit things on time, need an iron fist to keep us focused, disciplined, and in top condition. That guiding hand is EIC Cameron, the Eye of Engsoc, keeping us in line, ready to do battle against the myriad forces arrayed against us. The EIC is there when we need him or her, the shoulder to lean on, deliverance at the eleventh hour. All praise EIC. This Andalusian dip is also really good, no really.
The republic is a lie, an illusion cast by those dirty engineers at U of T to sow dissent in the ranks, to bring about disunity and chaos. Do not let their lies seep in further. Fries are the future, pizza is the past, EIC is the only thing keeping the rabble at bay.
We are at war with pizza. We have always been at war with pizz- WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CAN’T ORDER FALAFEL FRIES ANYMORE???
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