Censorship, I’m completely and utterly sure you will all agree, is absolutely unacceptable in every form. We at the Zillion Egalitarians Advocating Liberties Over Taxes Society have long fought the government in the long battle to preserve every conceivable freedom a person might have under any possible circumstance. It is a task, as I know you are all aware, that has been fruitless. Not two months ago, our poor brothers and sisters in the south lost their right to not have to look at a most vile act, two men or women kissing in public. Instead of, as we all expected, the rational government recognizing the intrinsic constitutional validity of our complaint, they protected this before uncommon and at thankfully unacceptable practice by the unassailable institution of holy matrimony! As horrible as that day was ,and it is a day we all still grieve nightly, I have worse news to bring you today.
Yesterday I learned that even the Internet, our last great hope for freeing the oppressed majority of our nation from the apartheid imposed by the corporate oligarchs, has been tainted by the long and ever-expanding reach of our malicious democratic society. Indeed, the power of the supreme minister is so great that he need not even enforce his abhorrent ideals himself; the idiotic sheep, the very sheep whom we work every day to free from their chains of tariffs and working hours and social norms and schedules, have become so indoctrinated they self-enforce the will of the overlords. This new phenomenon I call Godwin’s Law; this odd name, I ensure you, will quickly be made rational.
I discovered this Godwin’s Law as I was navigating the Internet, intent as ever on a new idea that might lead to the alleviation of the condition of pain all lifeforms on Earth—whom for the most part unknowingly—suffer. I was on a location designated https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews, ordinarily a bastion for individuality and the liberating “screw-the-man” attitude, when I came across a number of people referencing this phrase, Godwin’s Law. As hard as I could look, I could not ascertain the meaning of it. So I went to http://www.google.com/search and clicked on the “I’m Feeling Lucky” region. It brought me to the webpage https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law#Further_Reading. There I found a most horrific explanation for what I had seen.
Godwin’s Law is, impossibly, an instance of self-censorship. The denizens of the free internet have taken it upon themselves to internally police an unrestrained Utopian domain. When a particular topic that has been ruled as “Taboo,” (the extremely dangerous and effective tool the logical Vegans gave to the tyrannical Egyptian Pharos during the time of the unhidden enslavement,) is present on the internet, hordes of poor self-deceiving souls throw themselves at the speaker. Others similarly overtaken by this now Pavlovian response either flee from the speaker that they might avoid the truth he speaks, or throw themselves into the mash to aid in the unjust censorship of the free one.
I engaged the sad fools for a while, hoping that they could still be made to see the light of reason. But alas, the sickly hold of corruption had already taken hold. I fear that people, as well as all those in power, might have to die on the day of our imminent upheaval of all civilization. They said such peculiar things as “there is simply no point in arguing with anyone who evokes [that taboo topic].” My concrete arguments that all ideas should all be equally shared and respected fell on deaf ears. The responses I received ranged from questioning the fundamental truth that all ideas have merit to calling me what I understand to be the rude title of “neo-nazi.” My further persistence that everyone had an equal right to fame and celebration seemed to get through to some people, but I could not purse this further as they then began to talk in some strange cryptic language and refer to me alternately as “Idid Nazi” and “die Fuehrer.”
People of the truth, I am sorry to have to bring you this bad news, but as it is with all news, it is news we must hear. I propose, at this point, a plan to counteract this new development. Let us determine the root of this taboo that causes the cries of “Godwin’s Law.” Let us find it and let us advertise it. Let it fly from every flag pole and be plastered on every bus! May everyone open their eyes to see the face of taboo staring down at them! Let us make the government tremble as they see censorship shall never be effected, and that the ideas they try to defame can be celebrated now more than ever was in the past! Freedom shall triumph!
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