Why Are All the Buildings Locked?

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Frequent late night visitors to campus, like me on the way home from your mom’s house, will be well aware that many buildings are arbitrarily locked. There seems to be no pattern to the buildings; for instance the QNC. This one kinda makes sense, since most of the items it contains are smaller than my best friend after a swim through frigid water. But then take the massive, rough, bulging MC; it too is locked, despite having any number of viable entrances. I would love to be able to use even one of those apertures, much less all of them. And for that matter, why is the Tatham Centre locked? Believe me, it doesn’t have the type of jobs which I would be looking for at that time of night, and I sure as hell don’t want to be kissing ass on my Friday evening.

The point is that the University should be an open and easy-going place, not locked down with deadbolts and chastity belts. It is so much easier to penetrate into the University without getting wet when everything is easily accessible and free for public use. I feel that the entire student body would be much happier should we adopt this policy. We need to stop fetishizing security and privacy, and be a little more willing to spread our wings. So let’s all be a little less tight-ass; let us bang around the university as we desire into the deepest darkness of the night.