Dead: T-Cubed- Apple Jacks
Dear former EIC Apple Jacks has been busy FOC’ing off and is too busy being SuperHuge and wearing a FOC Hat and is sad that people think he’s literally a grammar nazi and that nobody takes his edits seriously so he stopped his column because F*CK YOU I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE I CAN DO MY OWN THANG
Dead: TOPZ – Wade Wilson and Edward Blake
TOPZ has graduated and are now seriously serious seriousing handsome serious grown ups now.
Dead: The Future of Gaming – OBI JON 1138
Obi Jon graduated and was last seen in Alberta, happily designing roads and shit.
Dead: Getting Good Head and Modernist Mixology
One assumes the authors have successfully graduated, or live in Yonge Street in a cardboard box.
Dead: Tube into This – Mr Nachos
Mr Nachos is very sorry he forgot to submit his articles, let alone abandoning his YouTube columns. Mr Nachos regrets to inform y’all that he has a job this term and is not allowed to [Red]Tube at work or else he will be fired. Besides, he can’t find anything interesting to watch.
Late: EngLife – Drill Sergeant Pickles
Drill Sergeant Pickles got his life together but when he was at the gym he fell in a wormhole and “lost of track of time” because there were forty-six dimensions in there. When the wormhole shat him back out, he had seven fingers on his right hand and had to learn how to write again. And that’s why his articles are late, but fuck y’all, his average is like 99% now.
Late: How to Talk To – Ching O’Malley.
Nobody wants to talk to Ching O’Malley and it makes her very sad. Please talk to her; she is very lonely.
Late: “Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry” – A lot of people
Half the engineering students at EngSoc have gone on to pursue their dreams to join Super Junior in South Korea.
The other half is on vacation. One lucky contributor was on a beach and doesn’t want to get sand in his laptop so he only wrote one article. The poor VP Ed wasn’t so lucky, because dingoes ate her laptop and she needed to get it replaced.
Sleepy Former EIC
“ZZZZZ” thought that he “might have time but didn’t feel qualified” to write an article about Apple, unlike Apple Jacks. He then lost connection because the tears of inadequacy had dripped into the WiFi adapter of his Windows-based laptop and destroyed the motherboard. Alas.
Dead: Highly Variable Recipes
The author bought a legit measuring cup to replace her scratched up one from North Korea so that she can actually read the numbers on the side, and recommends that you do the same.
Late: Updates and Things!! EngSoc Execs!
[Redacted] needed to be reviewed by the Dean of Engineering for [redacted] high doughnut content [redacted] your mother [redacted] E7 [redacted] so fat [redacted] referendum [redacted] your family is ashamed of you [redacted] and was found to be lacking!!
Late: Hit Replay – Arm-warming Hipster Man
Arm-warming Hipster Man didn’t know the deadline was so soon! and “thought there a break during midterms!” Well there wasn’t a break.
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