Voter turnout in EngSoc is so low that executives have gone from preaching to the kindergarten choir to an empty church.
Current voter turnout is roughly 50% of all eligible class reps, which probably about the same as in Toronto during a massive heat wave, or the House of Commons on the Friday before the Canada Day long weekend.
As a result, allegations of electoral fraud have emerged in EngSoc during the election of the new Board of Directors.
Said an unnamed source, “My class reps hasn’t shown up in weeks, so I folded up a ballot and put it in instead.”
“I thought about voting again but it seemed kind of unethical and I’m not really stealthy.”
Nobody has bothered asking about asking for a redo of the election process, because really most of the candidates’ 30-second campaign speeches consisted of “I have no experience in Engsoc so I’m not in cahoots with the exec, and I have a really fresh perspective for finding what’s rotten in Denmark.” If that logic were true, we should have just pulled some sad looking artsies out of Dana Porter and set them to work writing slam poetry about the inefficiences of society processes and the inherent nihilism of bureaucracy and the beauty of an empty, sugar-glazed cardboard tray devoid of baked goods in the C&D.
Also, all six of the Board of Director candidates were white dudes. I’m not allowed to say what this implies about the validity of EngSoc representation because then I’d get mail telling me white dudes can do the job just as well as anyone who isn’t a white dude. I mean, it’s probably just a coincidence. Assuming that 50% of UW engineering are white dudes, then the chances of this happening is just 2%.
We haven’t bothered to ask Engsoc reps for comment, because THE PEOPLE ARE BEING REPRESSED. The WEEF donation is TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION. EDCOM IS MAKING A NEW WINDOW IN THE TIN SOLDEIR OFFICE TO TAKE ME AWAYYYYY IM BEING REPRESSED
Leave a Reply