After the White House petition entitled “Pardon Edward Snowden” exceeded 100 000 signatures on July 9, 2013, Obama has formally apologized to America and the world.
A video was uploaded on YouTube showing the President of the United States looking very apologetic.
“We are very, very sorry for rifling through your emails and listening to your private phone calls. This went beyond the surveillance necessary to protect the interests of national security. The American people have spoken. Our government thought we knew how best to fight the war on terrorism, but the sacrifices that it required of American citizens was too great.”
“There may be hundreds of thousands of telephone records – I’ve just seen them. But we know nothing, Ed Snowden. Nothing of security, nothing of justice, nothing of liberty.”
Obama then switched tack to address the George Zimmerman issues.
“There has been a gross miscarriage of justice in America this month. I speak, of course, of George Zimmerman. Thus to correct this I shall let the people of America take on the role of Judge Judy and Executioner for this man. We’ll set up a poll on Facebook so that you can all ‘like’ either the ‘Zimmerman is guilty’ or ‘Zimmerman is innocent’ post. Most likes determines his fate! Street justice y’all.”
Obama concluded his video on a positive note by introducing a new construction project.
“I’m happy to announce that we will be going forward with design and construction on the Death Star, or as we will call it, the Peace Moon. This will stimulate the economy and provide valuable American construction and manufacturing jobs, rather than outsourcing labour from the Gungans or the Sand People.”
Construction is slated to begin in 2025.
uwengineer
Are you kidding me? Obama has never apologized to America and the people of the world on NSA surveillance and has in fact defended the whole program. The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events, but misrepresenting Mr. Obama as someone who has listened to the people who signed this petition is neither humorous nor factual. Maybe instead you should write a satire on Obama’s reaction rather than sincerely showing Obama is apologetic. It’s possible to tell after the 4th paragraph that you are making it up to be funny but for someone who only read the first part your tone is too sincerely and make it sound factual.