Heyyyyy sexay people!
After the success of the University of Toronto Sexual Awareness Week kickoff party (a.k.a. EPIC SEX CLUB ADVENTURE), the Engineering Society at the University of Waterloo will be hosting OUR VERY OWN SEX PARTY TOO!
UofT showed us that they can study and swing at the same time. Well, we can do anything that they can do. Except harder! Faster! Better! Stronger! So we will be using the entire engineering complex in South Campus to accommodate all 8300 students in Waterloo Engineering. We have more machines than the Kink Armoury and once the mechs manufacture a few post-market attachments we’ll be good to go. Sign up for AutoCad and 3D printing workshops outside the Orifice.
Some might ask whether or not the the gender imbalance of Waterloo Engineering might throw a damper on things. WELL a sausage party is the best party. Do you know what’s better than a hot dog with one sausage? A hot dog with two sausages. Three sausages. Sausages without buns. Buns. Buns buns buns buns. Buns are good too. Om nom nom. With enough ketchup and condiments anything is possible.
If the gender imbalance is still a problem for you, well Laurier is next door, and I know for a fact that they’re not hosting an awesome sex party, LIKE US. We held TalEng there so they should now be fully aware of the extensive and unusual skills that us engineers have. It’s only fair that we invite some similarly talented Laurier students to our sex party, which will be better than the Laurier orgy, and at least three inches better than the UT orgy.
What is a problem is that we will need a lot of condoms and cleaning supplies required for this venture. In the spirit of DUSTED why not BOASTED? Buy Out A Small Town Establishment Dispensary. T-shirts will be on sale in CPH next week for our condom-and-bleach extravaganza.
I think all the purply paint shenanigans, turfed-POETS, and beached-POETS have proven that we’re not shy about flying our freak flag. If you have any doubt about this, our mascot is the awe-inspiring 60-inch Tool. One of our frosh cheers is “EDCOM MAKES US WET.” And oh yes, they do… EDCOM will be in attendance to keep the peace… and reprimand offenders, as it were.
See y’all there after exams ;D
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