The Fortnightly Review: Raw Oysters, Medium-Rare

Calm.
Collected.
Ready for interviews.
Eight hours of sleep every night.
Paying attention in class.
Eating breakfast on a daily basis.
Attending all lectures.
Attending parties on weekends.
No longer puking in said parties.
No more fast-food and unaccounted calories.
Able to run a seven-minute mile.
Able to finish assignments without copying peers.
Saying hello to acquaintances in the hallway.
Feeding structured responses through the mouth.
Subdued excitement and apprehension at the prospect of graduating.
An active member of the Engineering Society.
An individual fond of expressing his/her originality and uniqueness through the work of others.
Always meeting new people.
Passing judgements without voicing intent.
Paying gratitude to the bus driver.
Being a good friend.
Holding the door open for strangers.
Waiting.
Patiently in line for your turn to give them your money.
Saying no to spare change that is less than a nickel at the CnD.
Occasionally tipping over twenty percent at restaurants.
A faster computer.
A new pair of shoes.
No more stress.
No longer believes in love.
No longer procrastinates.
Still fond of posting drinking photos on Facebook, despite all its banality.
Still procrastinates.
Enjoys a good book now and then.
Abides by all toilet etiquette.
Greets all encounters with a firm handshake.
Mature.
Free.
Appeals to logic rather than emotion.
Still believes in love.
No longer a hypocrite.
Tells the occasional lie.
Finds refuge in ignorance.
Content.
Able to enjoy sex without emotional-attachment.
Screaming, silently, at all that is wrong.
Keeping warm in cold weather.
Dressed, in a pair of jeans (from Levi’s), like everyone else.
Like a goose that no longer migrates in winter.
Like a goose that no longer flies.