Humour, Opinion

Advice for Your First Date

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

Howdy sexy plummers,

If you have been following our advice, you may have procured the elusive “first date” with that person of your dreams. Obviously this means a lot to you and is the first step in a long and meaningful process to achieve the relationship of your dreams with your soulmate. One of your fellow readers wrote in and had this to say;

Dear CBG, your advice has been invaluable and has helped me with my mission of finding my ideal girl. I found this super-hot girl working out in the gym and I did exactly as you suggested. I stalked her and obtained her address. When I arranged to “bump” into her by accident, she seemed really happy with my outgoing spirit and asked me out on a date. What should I do to avert disaster?

First of all, we would like to commend those of you that have earned this achievement. We would to thank all our readers for all of their tremendous support. Anyways, getting down to business. It is important that you take this opportunity extremely seriously. This what we in the upper echelons of corporate management called “make or break”. You need to be at your best behavior despite not losing your self-identity. The following advice should assist you in your quest for “The Perfect Date”.

Make sure you dress well. If you are into that kinda thing, you should dress up in your most crisp dress shirt with all the creases ironed out and a sharp well-fitted pair of trousers to go with it. If the date is at an upper class place, make sure you dress somewhat formally with a blazer or a sportjacket on top. Try not to go with a necktie or bowtie as that would deem the date as a professional meeting. A good buttoned down shirt with the top button open would be the best bet. If you are into dresses and such, your best bet would either the classic “LBD” or a silky smooth red outfit. For a more informal feel, sundresses are an excellent option. However, be careful to dress somewhat modestly; you don’t wanna exude the aura of a “floosy”.

Make sure you pick up your date from their house and take them to the destination. Make sure you are courteous all along, opening doors and arranging for their seating etc. Once you place your order, make sure you ask your date what they would like and accordingly decide on the choice of wine to go with the food. Make sure you maintain utmost table etiquette with elbows off the table while eating. Once you feel comfortable, cup your date’s hand to make them feel more comfortable. At the end of the date, drive your special someone home and before saying goodbye, hug your date. Hopefully, it all goes well and you get a second date with that special someone.

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