RED
So you’re a first-year engineering student at Waterloo. You are now a “plummer” as one might say. You might be asking yourself, “Why was I considered awesome enough to be part of Red Team for my Orientation Week?” There were many things your Huges looked for while scouting for potential Red Team members for this year’s festivities. Maybe it’s due to the fact that your preferred method of transportation is via shiny green pipes. Or maybe it’s because your mom always makes sure you have a fresh pair of denim overalls and a clean red hat to start your first day of school every year. Heck, maybe you just like stomping goombas, punching bricks, and saving princesses. Whatever it was, we just want to let you know that you belong here. The world of Super Mario and his Mushroom Kingdom have been part of the elite group of the world’s Defenders since before you were born and we think you’re going to fit in just fine. In the words of our great leader: “Lets-a go!”
LIGHT GREEN
Everyone knows that the world is going to end in 2012. “But how?” you may ask. Well, we have a pretty good idea of how things are going to go down. We are the Light Green team and we are Zombies. Join us as we consume the brains of our adversaries while dodging cricket bats and shovels in an attempt to take over the world! We’re not just a bunch of mindless, re-animated corpses; we’re an unstoppable plague that will wipe out all of civilization. Horrific thoughts aside, your Bigs and Huges are very excited to meet you all! This week will be full of fun and games, with lots of challenges in which your ingenuity and engineering know-how will be put to the test. So, master your groaning, perfect your zombie limp, and help us prove once and for all the Light Green team is the best team around!
LIGHT BROWN
Ahoy, mateys! ‘Tis the dawn of a new day. The sun be shinin’ and the sea beckons ye. There be only one problem: she be big, and we be small. But ye ain’t alone! Light Brown be at yer side! When yer on a boat, n’ it’s goin’ fast, and ye be facin’ down the Kraken in the middle of the blue, yer crew is yer life, and if we work together, nothin’ can stop us! Yer crewmates and yer Bigs are th’ bulk o’ tha crew, and we know that ye’ll become great friends durin’ yer adventure. We be yer captains, ruling not with iron fists, but with mugs o’ tha finest juice (or in Dom’s case, a glorious beard) and hooked hands (and beard) extended in comradery. We be tha best o’ tha best, and we know that ye’ll fit right in! So hoist the mainsails, secure yer lines, and don yer nautical themed gear — tha world be ripe fer tha conquerin’, n’ we always get our booty!
Erin, Liz, Dominic, Kate, Megan
Light Brown Huges
ORANGE
[in the voice of Optimus Prime] From before the dawn of time, the mighty power of Transformers have rocked this world and the next. Decepticons and Autobots have fought for supremacy, each with their own unique but terrible powers. Each of you will be asked to tap into your unique powers and transform yourselves into awesome Waterloo students like our lovely selves.
For the Final Countdown, Autobots and Decepticons must unite to defeat a greater threat: that of the Enders. We will work with our Defender comrades to beat them for the hardhats, on the junkyard and at simply rocking out. Though we come from the land of Cybertron, we will hone our skills to make Waterloo our new home and make ourselves the rulers. At stake are glory, fame and power, and we have the forces to do it.
Transformers, ROLL OUT!
Angela, Amanda, Alex (dude), Alex (dudette), Matt (yes, he missed the memo on the A-name thing)
Orange Huges
YELLOW
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
DAHHH! DADAH!! DADA-DADADA-DADADAHH-DADADA-DADADAHH DADADADAHHHHH!!!!
It is a period of great unrest in Waterloo Engineering. Defender colour groups, striking from their hidden bases, have won their first victory against the evil Ender colour groups.
During the battle, the Defenders managed to steal secret plans to the Enders’ ultimate weapon, integration of complex functions, a plan with enough power to destroy the spirits of an entire engineering class.
Team Yellow, a group of experienced Jedi masters along with their numerous Padawan apprentices, prepares to join the rest of the Defenders for the final showdown against the evil Enders: Engineering Orientation Week 2011. This will be a battle of epic proportions, in which the Defenders strive to save their people and restore freedom to the galaxy…
PINK
Greetings UW Engineers,
For eons we have been watching from the shadows as your so called “dominant race” became comfortable with the world that you have built on top of our earth and land. Creating buildings, curing ailments, and pushing the boundaries of physics year after year have given your kind a false sense of confidence.
Your scientists have lead you to believe that millions of years ago, a meteorite collided with the earth, causing an ice age which killed off the dinosaurs. What they are soon to find out is, they were very wrong. Many survived and have been breeding and evolving at an exponential rate, learning how to hide and blend in with this environment. The time has come for the Jurassic race to rise up again and teach you what being a dominant race is all about.
By the end of the week, everyone will be bleeding pink – because the Dinosaurs are back and this time, we are here to stay.
Cam, Angela, Lisa, Scott
Pink Huges
DARK BROWN
Ever wish you could throw feces at the people you don’t like? Now you can! We are Dark Brown, the EVIL MONKEYS, and we are going to take over the Earth! From King Kong to Donkey Kong, from Jack the monkey (named after Jack Sparrow, of course) to the Evil Monkey who lives in Chris’ closet, we are going to take the Earth for the monkeys!
We are HAIRY! We are SCARY! We are REALLY REALLY MEAN! We are going to end the world with the help of the rest of the Ender teams!
Anish, Graeme, AJ, Mads, Andrea
Dark Brown Huges
DARK PURPLE
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…
There was a group of talented individuals with one goal: to succeed in dominating Orientation Week 2011 and defeating those pesky Earth lovers. In the continuing battle between Enders and Defenders, there can be only one victor!
Space invaders have come from far and wide to heed the call. Martians. Space Robots. Storm Troopers. Travelling from Tatooine and the Negaverse, united, they can END the world. You’re probably asking yourself, “What motivates the Durple cause? What makes a space-dwelling creature take on the responsibility of calling itself a space-invading-Earth-destroying Ender?”
Revenge! Colonization! Empire Domination! Regardless…
Resistance is futile, my friends. Space Invaders, using a variety of weapons, will likely destroy your planet, so surrender now! What can measly Earthlings do against our Death Star/photon torpedo/antimatter cannon? Nothing!
Prepare for the journey of a lifetime, dear friends. May the force be with them… They’ll need it.
LIGHT PURPLE
To most of the world, the carriers of the X-Gene were merely mutants. To Professor Xavier, they were a group of untrained heroes. He gathered young mutants of various powers and trained them to save humanity. Thus, the X-Men were created. Since then, they have been fighting baddies and stopping villains from wreaking havoc all over the world. We hope you brought your superhero powers and X-Genes with you this week. The X-Men are coming together again as Team Light Purple (Lurple) to partake in the final countdown, defending the world for all it’s worth. This is our chance to continue what Professor X started. Prepare yourselves for a week of heroism, fun, and adventure. Look forward to working with your fellow Lurple X-Men, getting to know them and their superhero powers, and together, vanquishing the Enders which threaten the world. So bring your skills, powers and enthusiasm, and we can show the world why the X-Men are the super-est of heroes.
DARK BLUE
Who are we you may ask? We are the providers of light in a sea of darkness, a glimmer of hope in a time of need. We offer friendship, comfort and nutrition to lure the Defenders close. Only then do we shut our fangs, engulfing their world. They never even see it coming. Mysterious and seemingly monstrous beasts stalk the gloomy depths of the Atlantic Ocean, the so-called “midnight zone” which virtually no sunlight can reach. Temperatures are near freezing and the space between one creature and another can be vast. We would like to welcome you along for the journey to end the world and overthrow the Defenders. Each dark sea creature, from viperfish to giant squid, will arise from the gloomy depths of the ocean to take part in this feat known as Orientation Week. We are Enders; we are the ocean beasts.
DARK GREEN
We are pleased to invite you to join an elite group of first years at the world’s most highly guarded training facility. Take heed: this special offer isn’t extended to everybody. This offer is only for the best, the brightest, the most dedicated of the engineers: this is only for those who will become the next TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES.
With the Dark Green team, you will learn many crucial skills that all shinobi warriors need under their belt. You will learn how to wield the nunchaku, the twin sai, the bo staff, and the ninjaken. You will learn the secret art of COWABUNGA. And most importantly, you will learn how to destroy those pesky Enders. As one of the six teams of Defenders, we’re Earth’s best hope—we’re really Earth’s only hope—at saving the world and restoring good fun and good partying all around.
The Dark Green Bigs and Huges have already undergone the training program. We are exceptionally capable ninjas who love welcoming the newest additions into our ranks. Fear not: with us, you shall be in good hands.
And when it comes to saving the world, remember turtles: forgiveness is divine, but never pay the full price for pizza!
LIGHT BLUE
Rachel’s Journal, September, 2011. Today, new plummers arrived in Waterloo.
Hundreds of first years in RCH this morning, marker points on fresh t-shirts. This city is full of them. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended sidewalks and the sidewalks are full of jaywalkers and when the grass finally recovers, all of Plant Ops will stop harassing us. The accumulated filth from all their mud pits and hard hat earning will foam up about their waists and all the first years will look up and shout “Feed us sandwiches!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “After the WEEF presentation.”
Once a person has seen society’s black underbelly, they can never turn away from it. Never pretend, like some do, that there aren’t villains out there, that the Enders don’t exist. Feel obligated to fight, to win. Those among us who claim to be leaders want our new recruits to be welcome. We want them to have the same hunger for simple justice. We want to show them the world without Enders!
Rachel, Lisa, Mark, Kyle
Light Blue Huges
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