With exams looming and sleep deprivation setting in, romance is in the air. We know that you’ve had your eye on a certain person, perhaps a dashing young gentleman or two writing an article in Starbucks on a Macbook sipping on a very masculine venti non-fat caramel macchiato. But in today’s hustly- bustly world, meeting people is no easy task! Ask yourself, when was the last time you went to a box-social and made a real humanoid connection? Well, don’t you fret, today we have a list of our top tips to make sure he or she will be yours, lickety-split!
Love Letters: Since the time of Shakespeare, the love letter has been a fundamental aspect of the courtship process. Anyone who’s written cover letters knows that personalized letters pack much more of a punch than generic ones, so be sure to not hash out some generic all-purpose garbage. Go through her garbage, scour her Friendster account, hack into her computer, really pull out all the stops to get to know all about your cherie amour. Then, to maintain a shroud of mystery (people dig that), write the note with cut-out letters from magazines and sign it anonymous. The following is an introductory template to get you started: “Dear [proper noun], I saw you [verb] last week. You looked really nice in your [noun]; it really brought out your [adjective] [noun].”
Be the Boy or Girl Next Door: He’s on the phone with his girlfriend; she’s upset, going on about something that he said, she doesn’t get his humour like you do. Oh, if only as the object of your affection looked out the window in desperation they could see your sympathetic and quirky face … Whether Mary Jane Watson or partially nude Elisha Cuthbert, the girl (or boy) next door is an oft-romanticized trope that makes even the hardest of hearts turn to mush. Problem: you don’t live next door. Solution: set up camp next door in his bushes! When he notices you peering into his window and realizes that you’ve always been there, it will be sure to capture his heart and soul!
Scrap-booking: A cute trend that seals any deal is scrapbooking memories together as a couple. When times are rocky, she can flip through an assortment of pictures and silly captions and remember why she fell head-over heels for you in the first place! Of course, as you’ve thus far only been admiring from afar, the precious memories have been dubiously mutual. However, you can bypass that bump with the use of Facebook, Photoshop and a little creativity! Start a scrapbook of pictures you find of her online with yourself shopped into them. Make sure to think of clever and cutesy captions like under one of eating ice cream, “I scream, you scream…”; you can also quote the lyrics of beloved songs like “Every breath you take, every move you make, I’ll be watching you <3.” Deliver it to her house and just wait for the romantic reciprocation.
Well, there you have it! Simply follow our guidelines and that lovely lady or gentleman will go from being a crush to being crushed (by you (during physical encounters)). And remember, one last tip: perseverance is of the utmost importance, and you can’t spell “restrayning order” without “retry” (unless you listen to those cork-blockers at the dictionary)!
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