Ah, December. Too many movies, only one issue to go on about it in The Iron Warrior. And unlike the begging of the summer blockbuster season, there are actually a few movies that are worthwhile. Fellow readers, I wouldn’t want you to stumble into the theatres for a whole month relying on your own whim or (gasp) other critics’ opinions. I’ll lay out everything you need to know about this winter, with a handful of movies that look good, ones that are on the fence and others that look like pure garbage. So let’s dive right in there.
Worth Watching – I have three for you if you feel the need to escape exam-time pressure and enjoy a very good movie. Two of them have Jeff Bridges starring in them. One of them has the power of Evan Macgregor and Jim Carey behind it.
Two of these movies are on the tops of most critics anticipated lists. Back when people were still ravenously pumping quarters into Donkey Kong, Disney put out a little movie called Tron that blew a fair number of people’s minds regarding what people can do with computer graphics. 28 years later, the movie finally gets a sequel, featuring Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner reprising their characters from the first movie. Fast action, computer generated bike chases, and a slick soundtrack (by Daft Punk, no less) make Tron Legacy one that would be worth your time on December 17th.
True Grit is a remake of a John Wayne western shot by the Coen brothers and has a pretty beefy cast that includes Matt Damon, Josh Brolin, and, of course, Jeff Bridges. The trailers show a much more action-heavy affair compared to No Country For Old Men, and the true western vibe really pays off for those who are in to westerns. Horseback gunfights, kidnappings, and one-liners from a guy in an eye patch. Not a bad way to spend a blustery late-December day. True Grit comes out on the 22nd.
Now, this movie isn’t the sure-bet of the previous two. However, after watching a trailer, there is no denying the charm behind I Love You Phillip Morris. The story of a conman who falls in love with another man in prison, it’s Jim Carey in a role that’s somewhere between Liar Liar and The Truman Show. The movie actually looks funny, which is a tall order for a movie that has to dance around a subject that is as “in-your-face” (and it is a shame that it still is) as homosexuality. The only thing that worries me is the possibility that executive meddling (this movie was released in Europe in the summer), may cause this movie to lose its quirk in order to risk offending anyone. This one comes out on the 3rd.
On the Fence – Sometimes the trailer ruins a movie I was otherwise looking forward to. Point in case, The Fighter, starring Mark Walberg and Christian Bale, took what I thought was going to be the Irish Raging Bull and made it into a Dennis-Quaid-in-the-Rookie style tale of getting your late break. While Walberg is hit or miss, Bale is slightly more consistent in better movies. But there have already been movies about the latecomer getting his last chance. It feels tired. But it could surprise. This one is coming to you December 10th.
Garbage Heap – Of course with good movies, there will always be bad. At least this bad is evident from the get go. No hidden crap in what looks like a diamond this time around. Yogi bear is a good place to start. Last year had that Squeakual, next year has Smurfs, and this year has the same CGI bullshit of an old TV show. Nothing from the trailer looked funny or even fun for a kid. Dan Akroyd’s Yogi is abysmal. The only slight highlight is Justin Timberlake playing Boo-boo, because he obviously has some debts that he needs to repay for being in Social Network. And in the grand scheme of Saturday Morning Cartoons, Yogi was not even close to the cream of the crop. Wake me up when they make a Wacky Racers movie. This movie will have to contend with True Grit on the 22nd.
Speaking of crappy movies that come out on the 22nd, this one didn’t have a chance of being good. Little Fockers, third movie in the “How long can we stretch out the hilarity that his last name sounds like fuck” horrible Ben Stiller / Robert De Niro comedy promises to be more of the same, and that same was worn out when the second movie came out. Watching the trailer is painful and unsettling. The jokes look old and tired, and nobody in their right mind would want to see this.
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