Is Scuba Diving a Good Substitute For Weed?

Is scuba diving a good substitute for weed? Yes. Yes it is. I know some of you must be shaking your heads and smirking right now. Allow me to explain. As you descend in water, the pressure increases. As the pressure increases, the amount of air you have to breathe increases and so the amount of nitrogen in your blood stream increases (since air has nitrogen in it). When you reach a depth of about 30m, the nitrogen in your blood reaches a high enough level to render you, well, “high”. The deeper you go after that, the “higher” you get. Last time I dove to 30m I was kung-fu fighting my brother and busting some sweet break dancing moves. The woman beside me was trying to give her extra respirator to the fish. Once you resurface, nitrogen narcosis goes away with no after effects.

But what about weed smoke rings? What if I told you that you can blow a perfect donut bubble under water. Yea that’s right. Here’s how to do one: Pinch your nose, and lay on your back under water. Tilt your head back so it’s perfectly horizontal. Blow a bubble while keeping your mouth in an O shape. Remember to put your tongue out while blowing hard (that’s what she said) and then pull it back in quickly and close your mouth. If you practice this you’ll be able to blow a perfect donut bubble, or bubble ring. Try it out next time you’re in the pool since you don’t have to scuba dive for this one (although the bubbles get bigger the deeper you go).

But who wants to go scuba diving in Canada? It’s really friggin cold. This is true. And like any good argument, I’m going to address the good rebuttal with a well-informed, well thought-out answer. I won’t just dodge the issue and try to distract you with some other slightly related topic that leaves you wondering whether or not I actually answered the question. The answer is, of course, you can get your scuba diving license even if you’re Canadian. But seriously, I would recommend scuba diving in some tropical country.

Since I’m supposed to try and make this a 500 word article here’s another fun thing you can try in the pool. Remember how pressure increases and the volume of air decreases as you go deeper? Take an empty water bottle down to the bottom of the deep end and then blow air into it and put on the cap. As you resurface, the air inside will expand and get compressed. Then unscrew the cap slowly with one finger and if you do it right, the compressed air inside will fire the cap off. My record is about 20m.

So in conclusion, scuba diving is a great substitution for weed because you get all the awesomeness of feeling high and blowing donut bubbles with none of those annoying legal constraints.