The Iron Warrior’s Distraction Newsletter Volume I

The Funny Bits

Crossword

Theme: RuPaul’s Drag Race

Across
1: Confesses openly
6: Abyss
12: Fifth US president
14: Make more pointy
15: Type of membrane covering body cavities
16: Season 2 Miss Congeniality
17: Duck from Stuttgart
18: Supermodel of the World and American
19: Louse’s egg
20: Bendelacreme is terminally this
24: One-use code for Final Fantasy
25: Rock containing precious minerals
26: Singer behind “How to be Lonely”
27: Center for Studies on Human Stress en français
28: Someone from Baghdad
31: Nickname for Raven’s QB
33: What reading is
37: Loose garment covering whole body
38: Truth
41: Scuba dividing teacher acronym
44: Traditional Korean board game
45: Virus transmitted by mosquito, abbr.
46: Initials of famous Scientologist
47: To be eliminated
52: Coral reef island in Philippines
53: It follows Mar.
54: Last name of Turkish actress Itir
55: Wrinkly dog breed
57: Slow tempo marking
60: Ugandan capital
61: Enters first with RPDR winner Bob
62: Ferret, e.g.
63: Makeup brand ________ Lauder

Down
1: YYZ but for Amman
2: First person singular present indicate of “ir” in Portuguese
3: “_______ ___ was” by Tim Buckley
4: W in BMW according to Latrice Royale
5: Opposite of north
6: Cleric attached to secular organization
7: Villain of Frozen
8: Organization of German regional broadcasters
9: Monét X Change iconic dress material
10: Deserves
11: The best game on RPDR
13: Slovak company offering antivirus software
14: spend freely
20: Used to cite online articles
21: Make a mistake
22: Maple, e.g.
23: Patterns or arrangements
27: Greeting in Milan
29: Ethiopian district
30: Breed of dog with Shiba
32: Possessive adjective or contraction?
34: Period of little to no activity
35: Miz Cracker’s twin?
36: Founder of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film studio
39: _____ with Tati
40: Casual greeting
41: AS2 winner
42: Child with no parents
43: Questions following a riddle?
48: Messy pile
49: First two words of Donne’s “Holy Sonnet II”
50: 1996, 1932, 1765, 2019
51: Feeling of anxiety
53: AIDS Service Organization in Toronto
56: Les Mills spin class
58: Former British organization of electrical professionals
59: Suffix for naming sugars

Horoscopes

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Since you’re taking classes from home this term, you’ll come to realize that you could really spruce up your workspace. Maybe your walls are too boring, maybe you need to add some posters! Whatever it is, you’ll finally find some time to put your artistic skills to work!

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

While taking a well earned study break and watching your favourite Netflix show, the you’ll notice that it’s actually the nicest day out and you’ll suddenly realize that you miss all those recesses you spent outside with your friends in elementary school.
Back when playing grounders on the playground was the greatest game of all time. Ah, those were the good old days.

Leo: July 23 – August 22

It’s been a long day. You submitted a lab, did really well on two quizzes, and finally figured out a way forward with your design project. You deserve to treat yourself to a can of coca cola and a bowl of your favorite chips. You earned it!
Oh, and don’t worry about the four assignments that are due tomorrow at midnight. That’s something that you can deal with tomorrow.

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

You know what you should do? You should start a blog! It’s such a great way to document all of the fun projects you’ve been doing while stuck at home. Here, I’ll even get you started on your first post: “How I Found Joy from Balancing a Rubik’s Cube on an Edge”.
I mean, it’s that or writing about the 8-bit breadboard computer you spent a month creating. Up to you though (although I’d go with the Rubik’s Cube)!

Libra: September 23 – October 22

Since you have so much time on your hands because it’s summer, you’ll decide to take up a fun hobby. Why don’t you try baking! Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted to try becoming a contestant on Cake Wars! This is your chance! You’ll start out with easy chocolate chip cookies, and before you know it, you’ll be able to make lemon meringue pie with your eyes closed!
Just be sure not to burn yourself like you did with those cupcakes you tried baking two weeks ago.

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

You’re getting tired of typing on your keyboard. It just isn’t fun anymore, and playing TypeRacer isn’t helping. You’ll finally decide that you’ve had it with typing on a boring clackety old keyboard, and decide to purchase a rainbow LED backlit gaming keyboard from Amazon.
Believe me, writing lab reports will end up being more fun than you thought!

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

Have you been spending too much time on your phone on weekdays? Sure, nobody’s going to catch you procrastinating, but you know deep in your heart that it’s wrong. Use this opportunity to put those electronics away and focus on what you need to get done! If you end up finding it difficult, try a focus app! There are plenty out there!
If you do this, you’ll find yourself to be much more productive this term, and who knows, maybe you may even finish the stack of books that have been sitting on your shelf for the last three months!

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Tough decisions are coming your way this month. Decisions like “Should I try cooking dinner today, or do I just want to heat up some frozen pizza”, and “Should I finish that calc assignment now and not have to worry about it next week or watch eighth season of Friends?”
Choose wisely, young Padawan.

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

You’re desk is starting to get a bit cluttered. Is it the notebooks? Is it the plates and bowls you don’t want to wash? Is it the paper airplanes you made when you were bored the other day? Whatever it is, you’ll decide to tidy up a bit and organize your desk. You’ll sort out the mess, and once you’ve finished, you’ll feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment, knowing you’ve finally got things under control.
That is, most things. Did I mention you can’t see your floor because of the disorder?

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

You’ve become a master of waking up five minutes before a BONGO meeting with your class on LEARN. Who needs time to get ready and walk to class when it’s literally four feet away from your bed? Despite this, you should consider adopting a good morning routine so that you’re not logging into your computer while you’re brushing your teeth.
Trust me, it’ll only do you good. Wake up early, make some tea, have an omelette! It’s way better than dry cereal and a chocolate bar.

Aries: March 21 – April 19

You’re the type of person who doesn’t enjoy being stuck at home. The last thing you want is the prospect of not being able to go out with your friends or travel. You love adventures and don’t like being cooped up. Don’t worry though, there is a workaround!
Try setting up a virtual video party with your friends! It’s a great way to keep in touch while being far away, and you’ll find it’s the perfect way to unwind after a long week of classes!

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

Because you live in a time zone that’s three hours behind EDT, those 8AM tutorials just aren’t going to happen for you. However, even if you can’t make them live, each one is recorded for you to go back and watch, which is definitely relieving.
The only hiccup arises when the virtual meet accidentally doesn’t get recorded. At that point, the textbook and Youtube are your best friends. Gotta love technology sometimes.

Photo by rawpixel_free from Vecteezy

Dear Darla

Dear Darla,

I am done with this online school thing. I already hate Summer terms. The last thing I want to do on a sunny day is study. Now, I don’t even have the small joy of walking to class. I spend all day holed up in my apartment staring at my laptop. The bright white screen is monotonous and depressing. I don’t even have social interactions with my friends. Summer is not supposed to be like this.

-Antsy Anne

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Dear Antsy Anne,

Online school is what you make it. It’s vital to the academic mission. I say, make the most of it. Staring at your laptop sucks, how about you bring some of it outside. You can always crack out your textbook and actually get those readings done. Reading a textbook outside is like reading a book just infinitely more boring. Hey, at least there’s sunshine. If you don’t have the paper textbook, you can always write down a few questions and try some problems outside. Another fun outdoor studying technique is chalk. It’s like drawing hopscotch as a kid but now instead of squares, it’s heat and mass problems! If you live in an apartment, where are you supposed to do this outdoor studying? Parks are open now, so if you wear a mask and maintain socially distant, you can enjoy great public spaces. Warning, sometimes these places are really busy so try to take advantage of off-peak times. Another great outdoor studying technique, especially for those auditory learners, is listening to your notes. Spend ten minutes after every lecture summarizing what happened in a voice memo. Later, you can go on a walk and listen to the recording to refresh your memory. This is especially great to do before an on-line quiz so you feel relaxed but can still cram in a little panic studying. The simple fact of the matter is that this may not be a short-term thing. On-line schooling is happening in the fall and no one can really be certain about the winter term. Yes, it sucks but there are certainly advantages to it. I know you’ve got this!

Yours truly,

Darla

Photo by ThisIsEngineering from Pexels

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Dear reader,

Darla is back to answer all your burning and non-burning questions! Questions can be about school, dating, lifestyle, or even how to make a killer tomato sauce. E-mail any questions for Darla to answer to theironwarrior@gmail.com. You can also reach out to us on social media. Instagram: @theironwarrior_uw Facebook: The Iron Warrior We’re getting more social media set up to make it easier for you to reach out to me.

Yours truly,

Darla

Notes

Contributors

Editor – Ratan Varghese

Writers – Kirsten Ehlers, Akanksha Joshi, Acira Joshi, Jessica Ehlers, Darla

Questions and Recommendations

We want to hear from you! What do you want to see?

​ @theironwarrior_uw

The Iron Warrior

@TheIronWarrior

theironwarrior@gmail.com