Ode to Elizabeth May

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Posted on: July 24, 2019

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

As the 21st day of October nears
The time to vote away our fears
I search, nay yearn for my one hope
To save the people of Port Hope.

My dearest Ms.May, Elisabeth,
The time for you has cometh
The shining glory of your green
Future of socialist Canada dream

It lights my world when all is dark
When Jagmeet makes it seem so stark
Please come and tell it like it is
Get rid of Trudeus’s sunshine frizz

Elizabeth, ‘Lizabeth, ‘Lizabeth May
It’s time for you to save the day
Storm the land, if but by force
In a beautiful, drunken stupor of course.

You are the grandma on the stage
Proof that tree-hugging’s all the rage
As the 2 degree noose tightens more
Let’s save our precious island shores

In the glory of your precious curls
And the smile of your glorious,
shimmering pearls
Bring your peace-loving Canada-wide
So that I may always stand by your side

I yearn to see you in the face
To shake hands and hug during the race
To follow your movements wherever
you go
And GPS you so I always know….

Where my sweet Elizabeth toils every
day
To make the bad polluters go away
To bask the country in the greenest of
light
I declare that you are my biggest fight

Amen.

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