PornHub Joins the Fight for the ‘new Game of Thrones’ with New Series on the Soviet Union

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Posted on: July 24, 2019

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As streaming services vie with one
another to produce the next Game of
Thrones, an unexpected contender has
cast its hat into the ring. Pornhub announced that it was planing a big budget
five season drama about the ‘rise and fall
of the Soviet Union’.

A Pornhub spokesman told media that
the Montreal based corporation was
“really looking to diversify our brand.
There’s a unique spin we can offer consumers, which I think other corporations just can’t manage.”

“There’s a lot of interesting and innovative ways we can explore these well
trodden historical figures,” the spokesman continued.

The series will tell an epic and emotional story about the failed struggle for
a worker’s utopia, and will address ‘interesting and topical political questions’ such as: What happens when the socialist
fraternal kiss goes a bit too far?

The spokesman went on to reassure
their fanbase that they would be sticking to the source material: “We plan on preserving the emotional essence of the
story, as well as taking full advantage
of Stalin’s mustache and Che Guevara’s
good looks.”

Leaked scripts reveal scenes where
Mao Zedong and Khrushchev cavort
with Ukrainian prostitutes while a Soviet
official reads voiceovers detaling the reports of starvation during the Great Leap Forward.

Reactions so far have been mixed.
Some on the left were excited about this
“innovative and modern” take on the Soviet Union and hoped it would win converts to their side, while others criticised
the show for being “full of white males”
and demanded that Lenin be played by
a woman of colour. Meanwhile, notable
Canadian academics condemned this
series as another sign of the “Cultural
Marxist inflitration of Western civillization”.

Insider sources say that Pornhub was
initially eyeing a more traditional fantasy
adaptation but ran into diffi culties when
they tried to obtain the commercial rights
to any major series.

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