What kind of bubble tea are you?

Aun-Tea Bubble - Bubble Tea Expert
Posted on: March 27, 2019

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Is BBT your all time jam? Do you dream about those juicy balls in your mouth before you go to bed every night? Read ahead to find out what kind of bubble tea you really are:

What is your favourite colour?

  1. Yellow
  2. Brown
  3. Green
  4. Purple

What do you prefer your mouth to contain?

  1. Slime
  2. Balls
  3. Juices
  4. Strings

What food can you eat non-stop?

  1. Fruits
  2. Chocolate
  3. Milk
  4. Nuts

Where do you get your BBT fix?

  1. I bought hella expensive ingredients and made BBT only once using them and now I’m questioning all my life decisions.
  2. The Alley, also 1.
  3. Chatime, also see 1.
  4. 1, and Sweet Dreams.

What size BBT do you usually buy?

  1. Modest
  2. Large
  3. Magnum
  4. Are you sure?

Great job at the queez, you bubbleteez. Here are the results!

If you picked mostly 1’s, you are a honeydew milk tea with mango jelly. You taste great only to a select few and that is the beauty of you. You don’t have to please everyone around you and honestly, you may be a dick sometimes but at least you are not sucking on balls in your drink like those who mostly picked 2.

If you picked mostly 2’s you are chocolate milk tea with tapioca pearls. No matter what the ones who picked mostly 1’s say, balls are good for you. Sure they are chewy and dry and have no real flavour, but that just goes to show how much drama you don’t want in your life. You are a person of texture, not taste.

If you picked mostly 3’s you are a simple matcha green tea with no added toppings. You are the fancy pants of your group because you can enjoy that nasty green tea without any added flavour or texture. While I do not hate you, I do not trust you either. Honestly, 3’s are the worst.

If you mostly picked 4’s you like nuts. You, my friend, are the taro hazelnut milk tea with grass jelly. You are the kid everyone dreams of being and you can take your whole group down the tunnel in one single tantrum. Seriously, grow up and learn something from the mostly-picked-3’s.

If you picked any other iteration of options, why are you the way that you are? I can’t do this on my own. I am calling on MathNEWS for help.

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