VP Com?! More like VP Gone? : Air Buds 2 is Cool

Grant Mitchell - VP Communications
Posted on: March 27, 2019

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Oh, darn it![ Groaning ] Okay, mutt. Show time. Okay, come here. Hold it. Hold it.
Hey, do not make me use this, okay? Hi. “Clown and the Hound.”
Ow! [ Whimpering ] Hey, kids, it’s happy, slappy time!
[ Clown Laughing ] All right, now, I tell ya what we’ll do.
We’ll start off with a little bit of plate-spinnin’, okay?I bet you won’t be able to guess what this one is.
Hoo-hoo-ha, hoo-hoo-hoo. Hula, hula, hula hoop Pick a card, any card.
Now we put the plate in our mouth! [ Wheezing, Coughing ]
[ Coughing Continues ] It went down a little bit… far. [ Humming ]
– [ Clown Groaning ] – [ Boy Groaning ] Okay, dog, your turn.
– [ Panting ] – [ Laughing ][ Children Gasping ] Oh. Oh. Oh.
– One more. – [ Together ] Yeah! And now for the grand finale, kids!
– [ Grunting ] – [ Shrieking ] – Where are you? – [ Crowd Shouting ]
– Come back here! – [ Screaming ] – [ Whimpering ][ Grunting ] Ow!
[ Clown Shouting ] – My cake! – [ Screaming ]
– [ Children Screaming ] – [ Mother ] Oh! [ Grunting ]
Would it be okay if I get a couple references? Come on! Get up here! I warned you.
You had your chance, you flea-bitten mongrel. You’re going to the pound!
Do you hear me? You’re going to the pound! I hate birthday parties!
I hate kids! I hate being a clown! I can’t stand birthday cakes!
Yeah, dog pound? I got a vicious dog. No, it’s a horrible dog. It’s a menace! I’m bringin’ him in now!
No, I don’t know where you are. That’s why I’m calling ya. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know where that is. I could be there in 15, 20 minutes.
Yeah. Well, no, I got a map. I got a map here in the truck. – [ Whimpering ] – [ Mooing ][ Truck Horn Honking ] Oh, my God! Oh, my!
– [ Baby Crying ] – You okay? – You okay, sweetie? You okay? – No!
Well, jeez, almost gave me a heart attack. What on earth is that box doing in the middle of the road?
We’re okay. Everyone’s okay. We– We’re okay. Fine. Isn’t it cute? Oh, don’t forget:
My new job is just ten minutes away. Did I tell you that the Fernfield Napkin Factory…
is the third largest manufacturer of napkins in all North America? Well, here we are.
[ Sighs ] So what do you think, huh? [ Thunder Rumbling ]
[ Owl Hooting ][ Mother ] I am concerned about him starting three months into the school year.
He doesn’t make friends very easily. Not that he’s not friendly. It’s just– Well, he doesn’t talk much these days. You see, when his dad passed away last year–
– Oh, I’m so sorry. – Thank you. It’s been difficult. So, anyway…
I used to spend a lot of time around here because my grandparents lived here. So I thought that the move would really be the best thing for us, especially for Josh. I understand. I’m sure he’s going to do very well here. But tell me about extracurricular programs.
Does Josh have any interests or hobbies? Well, he used to like to play basketball with his dad,
but he’s lost interest in that too. Well, let’s see. We have an excellent band.
Oh, I used to play the flute when I was his age. That was fun. [ Bell Ringing ]

 

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