Tin Soldier

Phoenix Pay a Pillar in Modern-Day Socialism

Like his father before him, Comrade Trudeau has earned praise from leftist circles by taking bold steps to usher in a utopian communist society. The Phoenix Pay systems is an innovative pilot project, which began in 2010 under the auspices of Comrade Harper, to automate and centralize the pay system of Canada’s public service. It has represented a major milestone in the move towards a moneyless society from Canadian society: gradually eliminate the need for pay-cheques for public servants by simply not paying them.

This is a shining example of Comrade Marx’s idiom, “From each according to his need, to each according to his ability”, since in a moneyless stateless society, nobody will need pay-cheques and the state will not need to exist. All political parties have been unanimous in their support for Comrade Trudeau’s project; in a speech in Parliament, Mr. Scheer applauded the measure as a “cost-cutting measurement” and a “bold shift towards small government”, while Comrade Singh issued a statement praising the policy for “decreasing social and economic inequity by lowering the income gap between public servants and the unemployed”.

The only dissenting voice was Bernier of the People’s Party, who declared that, “For the government to interfere with the government’s pay system is an overstep of government influence. The People’s Party would allow the free market to pay government employees instead.”

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