I Did It! *High Fives Mirror*

Hasan Ahmed - Editor-in-Chief
Posted on: July 18, 2018

Here it is, the last issue of the Iron Warrior. First, I want to apologize for an error on the second page of last issue. I left the Winter publication schedule on the bottom, since I was editing an old copy of the Winter issue for formatting reasons. My thanks for this issue go out to Samridhi again, for being on top of things as an assistant editor throughout the whole term. Many thanks to the rest of my team for all their hard work these past few months. An even special-er thanks to Mary Bland (business manager of EngSoc for those who don’t know) for just being amazing as usual. Thanks also goes out to the EngSoc executive team for updating you guys every issue. My goodness sometimes you guys wanted to make me pull my hair out with your late submissions, but I know you’re all busy doing good things and getting purple, so all is forgiven. Besides, Laura Scanlan was able to give me little roasts to put in the Tin Soldier of you guys, so if you’re reading this, check out your names in the Tin Soldier contributors list. Also thanks for your final updates, as usual, being memey. If you want some actual updates I’ll leave them here: Engineering Day happened, it was cool. Raised lots of money for the Trevor Project. Almost $2500 according to the GoFundMe. Check out the calendar for upcoming final events of the term. *Note, this final update by me is not endorsed by EngSoc in any way. Just trust me though.*

Did someone mention Tin Soldier in that last paragraph? That means it is time! Yes, the Tin Soldier is back in full swing with satire articles across the board. We’ve written some erotica, space colonization, and of course, trump pieces, so check it out. Be sure to analyze the minute details scattered around the paper. These little jokes were too small to write full articles of, but still constituted minor bits that could be used in the paper. Through our meetings during the term, we would generate ideas for things we could make fun of. These ideas were written on our office’s whiteboard which is reserved for Tin Soldier ideas. Unfortunately, many of these ideas go unused. Some jokes included celibacy associated with this degree (either by your choice or not), remarks about the engineering program (in good fun, don’t worry), and of course, sex jokes. I had some ideas that I really wanted to bring to fruition, but it seemed out of the scope of the timing of one weekend. My initial plan was to format the Tin Soldier to the layout of the Waterloo subreddit, which would’ve been very very very very very easy to make fun of. A lot of the jokes the team comes up with sound better in our hesad, and just so you know we don’t do a lot of vetting before publishing them in a newspaper.

I’m going to get R E T R O S P E C T I V E right now and look back at my term as Editor-in-Chief. First, I don’t think it’s made me any better or worse as a person. But it’s been fun. Honestly don’t know how much I’ve grown, but maybe I’ll notice later. I’ve made tons of dumb mistakes, and I’m pretty scrupulous, so realizing how much I need to double and triple check things to find errors is more ingrained in my skull. I wouldn’t say I’m a perfectionist but I definitely have standards if I have the chance. I hate WordPress but I like InDesign. Also I like coffee now. Like, every day. It’s not good. I’ll rectify this during coop, since I’ll be living at home, which means better attention to my diet and more ingredients in my fridge. And nowhere in my kitchen is coffee grounds or a coffee maker. But maybe my dad will get me into drinking tea. When I come back next summer in 3A, I’ll try to stay away from Tim Hortons.

Oh yeah I turned 20. I had good friends over and we just hung out, played games, and talked. Good times. For those who didn’t get me a present, my paypal link is … nah obviously not. Instead go donate to charity or something. Your choice. I’ve never cared too much about receiving birthday presents. I just wanna make sure everyone’s having a good time. But, I have gotten some damn good birthday presents. When I was a kid, I received a 5-in-1 sports set, which was this weird soccer net/basketball net/golf/baseball/hockey set that my brothers and I loved. I used that set for ages and still have the baseball bat all taped up and “usable.” Everything else degraded with time, but it lasted a good 10 years before it fell apart. Another good present I received was my WiiU. I don’t play it that often nowadays because of school, but it’s nice for me to keep up with the games that came out early on for the system. I plan to get a Switch with Super Mario Odyssey, Mario Kart, Breath of the Wild, and a bunch of other games, since coop means time for gaming.

I caught up with an old friend right before I turned 20. She’s one of the people I still talk to from before undergrad. Since only one other friend came to Waterloo from my high school, there was quite a divide in our social lives from there, but she’s been one I’ve oddly kept in touch with quite a bit. I think it’s nice to keep in touch with your old friends, especially those genuine ones that you can have dynamic conversations with. It was nice. I don’t have many high school friends that can do that, but luckily my Waterloo friends are pretty cool too.

Turning 20 doesn’t feel different. Nothing becomes legal, nothing special happens. So I’m just hoping France wins the World Cup. However, I’d be lying if I said I don’t want Croatia to win. I’ve always been a fan of rooting for the underdogs. Croatia has been amazing this tournament, and I honestly wouldn’t be sad if they took the cup home. Plus, France played a bit dirty in the last 15-ish minutes against Belgium, wasting quite a bit of time. However, I wouldn’t feel bad if Croatia lost to them. Hopefully they’ll be in for a similar showing in future World Cups. I’m glad they beat Russia and England. The first goal against England by Perisic was amazing. At first I thought it hit off the English defender’s head and was an own goal before I saw the replay and Perisic’s Jackie Chan-style kick into the net. I can edit my editorial before this issue released to include the winner of the cup, but just check out the update in this issue for the results if you couldn’t catch the game.

I’ve been binging more food videos, and I fell back into a cycle of Alton Brown videos. As a nano, I like how he explains a lot of the stuff he cooks with chemistry. Crystallization of sugars, aromas of popcorns, you name it. He’s a very educated and passionate man that makes me want to try out his recipes. The man looks like science. I’ve also been binging non-cooking videos. I’ve been going through TV show clips on the YouTube deep dive we all go on every once in a while. Which has not been good for my productivity. Archer has been occupying my time. For those who don’t know, it’s a show about secret agents going on missions, but the main character’s kind of an ass and it’s funny but offensive but not the kind of offensive that’s “offensive to be offensive.” Okay, that last sentence was kind of weird, but it’s a decent show so check it out if you have time. I’ve also been going through Futurama clips, since that’s been a favourite of mine for a long time. Bender compilations, Fry’s 100 cups of coffee montage, etc. There’s many good standalone moments of the show that make it easy to get caught in a deep dive of YouTube videos.

Your issue-ly word is obtrusive, which means prominent in an unpleasant way. Nothing topical about this word made me choose it; I’m not subtweeting anyone or anything. I just like the way it rolls off the tongue. In a sentence: this smell is really obtrusive. I didn’t want to choose a word that was related to me departing as EIC, because I’m not cheesy like that. I’ll be making a cameo in the Orientation Week issue though.

So yeah, this is it. I’m out of this position. Rafiq Habib is the incoming EIC for the fall, so if you are here for the fall term and want to write for the Iron Warrior, just join a meeting when he schedules the first one. Also if you want to get more involved by taking a role like Assitant Editor, Circulation Manager, Photo Editor, etc. go for it. They’re honestly not much work (apart from Assistant Editor) and it’s good experience, and it’ll really help out the paper. Fall also has more writers which means more fun.

Okay, so I’m out. Hang loose kids.

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