The truth about Meghan Markle’s Social-Climbing Status

Granny Smith - Chemical '61
Posted on: July 18, 2018

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

It’s been exactly 368900 minutes since Meghan and Harry tied the knot and I simply cannot keep quiet any longer. You see, like many from across the commonwealth I tuned in to watch a beautiful ceremony about love and devotion and joining yourself to someone for life afrknl gaeroigrga’g  [efiwopgjiAGKL[

Oh my good gracious! Fluffers just walked across my keyboard. I am so sorry, he is such a good cat normally but sometimes when he knows I’m doing important things like writing topical news blogs he just gets in the way. He loves attention that one. I can’t delete it you see, last weekend Sonja was over to see Justin’s new baby photos (he is such a darling, you can tell he’ll be a charmer one day) and she spilled her tea right on the corner of my keyboard where the Backspace Button is. There is absolutely nothing that I can do about it, please just excuse the distraction. Now, where was I?

Oh yes, I cried the entire ceremony. Many other people were crying too but I bet they weren’t all crying for the same reasons. You know, I have a woman’s intuition, and I could just tell that that woman was not in love with him. And I was so sad. So very sad, because Harry has clearly been duped by that capricious attention-seeking American divorcee. He was looking at her with such love and you could see she was plastering a fake smile on her face that said, “I’m not in love, when will this be over?”.

You know, I had a bad feeling about her all along, I really did. I just knew she was in it for the fame. How could they even have met? It was by design, that’s how! Mark my words, Her Majesty the Queen feels the same way I do, all it took was one glance at her face and you knew. Look at any of the people who were from the groom’s party and you could tell how uncomfortable they all felt about the match. It is not right I tell you.

And to think what a darling that Harry is. So very like my grandson Shawn (he’s in the Military you know, I’m so proud). Such a thoughtful, caring boy, and all that tragedy with his mother when he was young. He deserves someone who loves him, not some callous Hollywood starlet on her fourth marriage. You just know she couldn’t care less about the institution of marriage. You know Harold and I were married for 52 years before he passed, God rest his soul. And he had faults, my Harold, but I stuck with him because we promised to do just that. This nonsense these days about not seeing eye-to-eye on everything is ridiculous. I am always telling my grandchildren that you will never agree on everything, you just have to compromise and avoid each other sometimes, and that’s what marriage is all about. Commitment, above all other things, is key.

Well, I hope they can find love together somehow, but I just don’t see it happening, I just don’t. You mark my words this will all end terribly and there I will be crying all over again because I saw it coming. You have a good day now, and don’t forget to be respectful. Lots of love my dears.

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