Big News in the Crypto Market

Gamblin' Gerald - Bitcoin Billionaire
Posted on: March 25, 2018

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(Bitcoin/Ethereum/The latest scam coin), the hottest cryptocurrency on the market right now, has been dominating the news lately. Although it started out as a (obscure technology/transparent money grab/meme coin that was actually supposed to make fun of how the people investing in cryptocurrency have no idea what the hell they are doing), in the last (year/6 months/2.78 days/12 minutes) its value has skyrocketed as investors (saw the potential/got caught up in a clever social media campaign to pump-and-dump).

The latest news comes as the coin has experienced tremendously (increased/consistent/decreased) (volatility/trading volume/value/social media attention). This, investors on Reddit say, is clear evidence that, as they always knew, their coin is starting to become mainstream; soon (all people will be using this coin for everything/fiat currency will be banned by all governments simultaneously/one obscure online retailer will start accepting transactions with the coin). For the most part, news that (over half the currency has been stolen by a centralized crypto exchange/the technology has a gaping security flaw/the power required to run the system is approaching that of New York City) has not dampened the spirits of crypto investors, even as the currency experiences (a 99% reduction in market cap/a continuing 5-month death-spiral/a 90% price drop following the recent 5% price rebound). For the most part, they express joy that the reduced price allows them to purchase more currency (without remortgaging their house/by remortgaging their house/without investing any more of their retirement savings/by investing all of their retirement savings).

One or two (voices/complete idiots) dissent from the overwhelming opinion that all cryptocurrencies are, without a doubt, going to continue to increase in value forever at a rate that is about 1000 times greater than the stock market. One suggests that (buying the lows/buying the highs/technical analysis/astrology/using a true random number generator) is not an effective way to invest money, and that furthermore the lucrative increases in the price of cryptocurrencies may be the result of a bubble (reminiscent of/almost exactly identical to) the dot com bubble.

Another dissenter, apparently dissatisfied that (they invested an obvious scam/had all their value wiped out by someone’s funny tweet/their portfolio performed 1% worse than their friends over a 2 day period last December/their money was stolen by one of the multitude of shady services that have popped up around the cryptocurrency industry). They suggested that the situation could be improved by (adding regulation to a technology that is entirely based on being unregulated and distributed/people giving them money).

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