Why EngSoc Should Secede from FedS and Form its Own Nation

Patdullah O'Beachimoda -
Posted on: March 25, 2018

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Too long have we toiled beneath the vicious overlords. Too long have the Free Engineers of the University of Waterloo suffered beneath the chains we admittedly chose to wear ourselves. Too long have these peasants stood against us…but no more. My friends, neighbours, country-people, fellow humans of UW Engineering, it is finally time for us to rise and to strike while the FedS is still weak. The FedS is in the midst of a “friendly” exchange of power. We can use this. We must unite now and overthrow this monstrous creation of Engineers past.

Why? Well listen, my friend, and I will tell you a tale. A tale of a Society, and a Monster.

Long in the past, the Engineering Society heard the pitiful cries of the other societies, and so they gathered together and produced a powerful entity from their sheer organizational prowess and institutional experience. They called this creature The Federation of Students. The years went by, and things were great in the beginning. The University flourished, nurtured by the gentle touch of the Engineers. Dark times were on the horizon.

The FedS soon grew tired of the Engineers. FedS had entered its Angsty Teenager Years™ and wanted to distance itself from its loving parent. FedS introduced needless bureaucracy, and bowed to the whims of the University, straying ever further from the true light—caring for and protecting the students. Unnecessary services were introduced, and students began to suffer. The Engineering Society was treated like an enemy, rather than the trustworthy ally in the fight to improve students’ lives. EngSoc is constantly harried with audits, saddled with bureaucracy, and treated like a second-class society in a University in which it is the Society Par Excellence. It is time to free the Engineers from the shackles that bind them. No more must the Engineers pay extravagant fees to the Federation of Students and its affiliates—fees that continue to increase at an unacceptable rate year by year.

When EngSoc secedes from the FedS, it will be able to form its own Nation. Engineers will Rule this Nation, and all of the Laws will be reasonable and for the benefit of the Engineers. EngSoc will finish the great work that it started so long ago, but lacked the vision to carry over the finish line. There must be a schism to allow EngSoc to spread its wings and become all that it was destined to be. IT shall worship Only the Tool, and all shall love IT, and DESPAIR.

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