A Guide to the Petition CECA Movement

Janny Wang - 1B Nanotechnology
Posted on: February 2, 2018

The poor sleep-deprived citizens of Waterloo have stirred from their customary stupor to protest what may be called taxation without representation; that is to say a 2.8% increase in the co-op fee has spurred a wave of fury, Reddit memes, and existential despair. This surge of populist outrage culminated in a petition of most exquisite craftsmanship and salt which highlights, in eloquent fashion, the sundry complaints and most wretched wrongs that for so long had no outlet save the r/uwaterloo subreddit.

No student can have failed to notice the lovingly designed posters which now plaster every wall, nor any netizen miss the CECA posts that daily multiply and increase on the subreddit; yet, in the true modern fashion, the finer details of the matter have become somewhat obfuscated, memes not being excessively well-fashioned for the communication of subtleties.

CECA is a most ancient and revered institution; the name first appears in the dusty tomes of the mid-twentieth century. Its solemn duty is to facilitate the co-op placements that give the University of Waterloo its renown. In the fulfillment of this task, it provides the innumerable postings which grace WaterlooWorks, as well as sundry workshops, employer information sessions, and the much despised Professional Development courses.

This duty has been performed with sufficient care that our co-op program may rightfully be the subject of some very immodest declarations, but whether the students are entirely satisfied is a point in some dispute.

One major point of ire is that 80% of the co-op fee is spent on staff salaries, which the proceeds of this fee increase shall supplement. This raise is in accordance with a contract dating from 2015, which stipulates that the employees of CECA shall have a yearly increase in salary from the given year to the present one. Though it ought to comfort the students to know that those to whom they entrust their careers are so adept at securing their own, it seems that the fruits of this cunning have proved but little sanguine to the students.

This increase was sprung rather in the form of a fait accompli; there was but little forewarning. On the subreddit, outrage at this transgression mingled with the lamentations of a broken wallet. The netizens of Waterloo are so suffused with righteous anger that they almost forget to complain about the perpetual heartache of virginity.

The somewhat plebian outrage of the subreddit were graced with a halo of officiality, when FEDS mingled their protests with that of the students. On February 6, the Board of Governors shall have the pleasure of discussing this issue; on their resolution we wait with baited breath.