Electro-Nick’s Electronics: Why Interac Debit is Evil (there, I said it)

Nick Owens - 2A Mechanical
Posted on: February 1, 2018

Note: The following article was written by an Unlicensed “Professional”

     Hello to all you Android users who are out there to stop Apple and all you IOS users who didn’t get the memo. It’s me, Electro-Nick, back to take on the most pressing issues regarding electronics. First of all, I would like someone to let that blockheaded editor know that I did not miss the first issue because I was afraid of the Y2K virous. That would be absurd. Y2K means year two thousand. I was hiding from the Y2K18 virous, thank you very much. Second, I’ve never made a full-on accusation in my title before, but this time, things are going too far. Interac must be stopped, and I require you, the readers, to help me on this one.

Remember what using a debit card was like only a few years back? You’d take your card out. You’d type in your pin number. Everyone in line behind you would grumble because you didn’t use cash. Then, after doing it all again because you accidentally nudged the machine, you would be done at the checkout. Those were the days. But now what does using a debit machine look like? You step up to the machine, you tap your card, then you’re good to go. Isn’t that the most convenient thing that you’ve ever heard? Probably. Does that make cash obsolete? Of course it does and good riddance. Cash was only ever a way to get you to subliminally link wealth with loyalty to the queen. But there is one consequence to the new Interac Debit that cannot be suffered. Is it the high security risk? Only conspiracy theorists would believe that garbage. It’s the fact that using the card is fun now.

Yes, it’s all fun and games now. The first time I pressed a bank card to the machine and heard it beep, I almost let out a childish scream (a fully professional and dignified childish scream, of course). It was like living in the future. I just wanted to sit there and swipe my cards all day. But therein lies the problem. There’s too much joy in it now. Handing over money used to be a chore. But now, Interac even has me loving the payment process. But as we all know; sinister plots don’t stop here. They don’t stop at a company trying to get us to spend more. But, then, where do they stop?

Interac has already proven that they can control our behaviour. It has taken me this long to notice the debit problem (which I will admit is by no means new). By now, we don’t know how else they might be controlling us. We could be tools to their dastardly plans and not even know it. Well I, for one, have had enough. Interac Debit is evil, and we don’t even know why. I propose that we all go back to those old, slow, annoying debit cards so that we aren’t tempted to fall into their plans. Be vigilant though. If something causes you as much joy as a beeping debit machine, it could be a mind control tool from Interac.

Of course, all of this is just my opinion, but you can trust my opinion. I’m an expert.

Now get out there and stop Interac.