Mecha-Nick’s Mechanics: Why the Trebuchet is Making a Comeback

Necha-Nick - 1B Mechanical
Posted on: July 15, 2017

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

The trebuchet. I know what you’re thinking. It hasn’t gotten the greatest rep over the years. Most people would tell you that, oh, the catapult can pack so much of a bigger punch with less size. Others might ask, “Doesn’t the invention of gunpowder make the trebuchet obsolete? But I, Mecha-Nick, beg to differ. The trebuchet is an unbelievably brilliant, historical, work of mechanical engineering and has its place in our society. We just need to work harder to find a place for it to properly fit in with our current goals.

Now, a lot of you might still be confident that the catapult is better than the trebuchet, but the idea of the mech is becoming more than just science fiction. Primarily popular in Japan, the idea has spread through North American media with appearances in blockbuster films such as Alien and Avatar. Now, you may be thinking that it’s just James Cameron who is obsessed with these things, but recent advancements in the field of robotics prove that the idea of a robot suit is quite a reasonable possibility in the future. It’s only a matter of time before this mechanized dream becomes a reality.

The problem, thus far, has been with programming accurate human legs. Due to the fact that legs are so complicated, the mixed defensive play is based around every player on the ice both controlling a zone as well as covering a man. Traditionally, the wingers would cover the defense, the defense would cover the wingers, and the centre would cover the other team’s centre. However, because hockey is such a fast-paced game, coverage between players can be switched to ensure that a player’s zone is covered and that no player on the other team is in a good position to make a play or create a scoring opportunity.

Now, the Shakespearian Sonnet is a form of poetry that makes use of the formatting method known as iambic pentameter. For those of you who don’t know, iambic pentameter involves formatting every line to be exactly ten syllables in length, as well as including an “on, off” rhythm to it. This rhythm had such a great impact on the people of the time that it engrained itself into the English language and is the same rhythm that most people, albeit unknowingly, speak in during day to day speech.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is why “Star Trek” can never happen.

Trust me, my cousin’s an expert.

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