Electro-Nick’s Electronics: The Truth About What Happened to Windows 9

Nick Owens - 1B Mechanical
Posted on: June 17, 2017

Note: this is a completely unbiased article written by an unlicensed “Professional”

Microsoft, the most valuable computer company in the world (if you don’t count a piece of fruit as being a company) launched windows 10 just over a year ago. Now I’m sure that you’re all familiar with them for Windows, the operating system that comes with the vast majority of computers. But it always seemed to confuse me that Microsoft went straight from Windows 8 to Windows 10. Of course, they explained it as an error in the coding, dating back to the 1990’s and that it would have cost them a lot of time and money to produce an operating system called Windows 9. But only recently did I realise that it might be something else. Anybody with experience in computer logic will know that the number 10 is a binary representation of the number 2. So perhaps, everything leading up to Windows 8 has been part of an overarching prototype, and now they’re beginning the phase 2 part, or Windows 10. But doesn’t that sound like better marketing than, ‘We had an error in the system?’ Why wouldn’t they want us to know about that? Unless, somehow, it is part of a sinister plot.

I, personally, have Windows 10 and am even writing this article in Microsoft Word. Personally, I enjoy a lot of the little conveniences over the tedious process of using Windows 8. But, I’ve noticed that Microsoft has added their AI, Cortana to the software. I’m sure that, by now, you all know about how Apple uses Siri to brainwash their customers, but I think that Cortana serves a much more insidious purpose. Cortana not only listens to your voice, but also helps you to type searches into your computer. In other words, she always knows what you’re typing. But what possible harm could that be? She’s just an AI after all, and we all already have tape over our webcams.  But I think it might be possible that Cortana might MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER BY ALLOWING YOU TO EASILY FIND DOCUMENTS, MUSIC FILES, SHOP ONLINE, AND PERFORM WEB SEARCHES… I most certainly did not write that.

So that’s their game. Microsoft wants to CONTINUE COMING OUT WITH QUALITY PRODUCTS WITH USER FRIENDLY DESIGNS TO CONTINUE LEADING INNOVATION IN THE COMPUTER MARKET. And it’s all to late to stop them. What are we going to do? Buy MacBook’s? No. We need to band together and tell Microsoft that they should KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, ESPECIALLY WITH THE UPCOMING RELEASE OF THE X-BOX ONE S. Perhaps I can get my message across if I write it in binary.

011010100100011100100111110011011110011010100 0100110011 0011110010001010000110100

Of course, this is all just my opinion, but you can IGNORE my opinion. I’m a LUNATIC.

Now get out there, an SUPPORT Microsoft.