Exec Story 1 (Prez)

Rachel Malevich - Prez
Posted on: March 25, 2017

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Hi Everyone!

Exec here. We love writing for the Iron Warrior. We really do. These past 2 weeks have been a time. Melissa, Chelsea, and Rachel are all in 3A chem right now, they wouldn’t recommend it to a friend. Andrew doesn’t sleep anymore, and Katie has been organizing what is sure to be a banging EOT.

For this very special issue of the Iron Warrior we have decide to present you with something else Iron (not your Iron Ring, we aren’t allowed to give those out)…. THE SCRIPT OF THE IRON GIANT. Classic. Please enjoy and stop by the orifice to say hi, like the Waterloo Engineering Society on Facebook, Come to Council Meetings or email executive.b@engsoc.uwaterloo.ca for more serious information if you so desire.

Without further ado:


Stars blaze against the blackness of deep space. One star begins to move, coming closer, moving toward…

EARTH, in space: blue seas, fleecy white clouds. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP: a retro-satellite, Sputnik, tumbles past.

Below, near New England, black storm clouds swirl in silence. Flashes, LIGHTNING FLICKERS.


The wind HOWLS, the storm RAGES in the chill waters off the rocky coast of Maine. Giant waves tower overhead, then CRASH over the decks of a fishing ship where desperate FISHERMEN fight to stay alive. The CAPTAIN YELLS orders no one can hear in the deafening ROAR.

The FIRST MATE yells into the radio, their only hope:

FIRST MATE: Mayday! Mayday! This is fishing ship “Annabelle”! We’re floundering and taking on water! Mayday! Mayday!

An enormous WAVE smashes against the bow of the ship, throwing everyone in the cabin off balance. A glass shatters.

The Captain enters, the two lock eyes: it looks bad.

CAPTAIN: What’s our position?

SAILOR #1: (grim) I don’t know.

CAPTAIN: If you don’t know where we are then you don’t know where we’re going!! You could be running us right into the rocks!!

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