Looking forward to a bright future

VP of Exes - Hasn't had Taylor Swift write a song about him yet
Posted on: July 16, 2016

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Hello hello! I have some pretty big plans for my last couple weeks as exec – I hope you’re excited. Here are all of my AWESOME ideas.

  1. First and foremost, I plan on convincing PEO to make Iron Rings purple. Sometimes I feel like engineers aren’t proud enough and are too modest, so let’s bring out that pride.
  2. Improving our external relations with companies in the area. I would like to make these companies sponsors of EngSoc and we will emblazon their logos all over POETS, the CnD and the orifice. The companies I have in mind are Chainsaw, Beta, Pearl, Starlight, and Phil’s.
  3. In light of recent British politics, I have been inspired to take action. Since Waterloo pays an unbelievable amount of money ($0.17 per student. I know, try to contain your indignation.) to the Engineering Student Societies’ Council of Ontario (ESSCO), I’ve decided to call a referendum regarding leaving it. I call it: ESSCIT. But I plan on campaigning against it and resigning if it passes.
  4. Making it mandatory that the VP Communications (i.e. new VP Ex) ride into every conference on the Tool, carried by its glorious bearers, all of whom are singing Godiva’s Hymn. Since the VP Comm is not allowed to touch it, he or she will sit on a pair of pink coveralls on top of the Tool.
  5. Tripling the conference budget so that all delegates will ride to the conference in a horse-drawn carriage. They will be particularly expensive because the horses will have to be winged in order to get to conferences across water.
  6. A great new outreach initiative to get high school students into engineering. We’ll show up at their schools and set up Poke-lures. Once they show up, we post on Facebook that there’s a Growlithe on BMH green. The students will be forced pay attention to our presentation. It’s flawless, I know.
  7. To promote inclusivity within the society, we will not be partnering with any food company that serves ANY food that is not vegan, gluten free and halal. Difficult to find, you ask? Challenge accepted.
  8. Finally, I will be proposing a motion to make Mary Bland (our business manager) permanent Supreme Dictator of EngSoc.

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