A&E

Take Five: Trail Mix

Note: This article is hosted here for archival purposes only. It does not necessarily represent the values of the Iron Warrior or Waterloo Engineering Society in the present day.

I like trail mix. I like trail mix with nuts and granola and smarties and wasabi peas and dried fruit things.

Sometimes, movies are like trail mix. Writers and directors feel inspired and add visual puns, subplots, and other elements of visual and narrative interest, which is good, because minimalism – though beautiful – is as boring as a massive handful of peanuts.

It’s clear I’ve gone a little bit nuts during the course of this term. Here are five movies that remind me of trail mix.

Crash (2004)

A bunch of people in Los Angeles have a very bad 48 hours.

I have no idea what Crash is about, besides being a vehicle to challenge one’s racial and socioeconomic preconceptions. I liked it very much and was taken on more than one occasion by the plot twists and tensions. If you see racists in the wallpaper this movie won’t pass your scrutiny, but eh, probably nothing does.

If this movie was trail mix it would be that spicy rice cracker mix with wasabi peas.

Space Jam (1996)

Aliens invade earth to kidnap the Looney Tunes. The Looney Tunes bargain for their freedom by challenging the aliens to basketball. To win, they pull Michael Jordan (played by Michael Jordan) out of retirement.

For a movie with such a crappy website, its production values are pretty good! Of course, one doesn’t have much of a point of reference for movies that combine live-action and animated characters in the same frame. You can’t tell if it’s realistic because one just doesn’t see Michael Jordan twisted into a spherical shape and sharing the screen with Bugs Bunny.

But, you ask, is Space Jam a good movie? Well, unlike certain movies, Space Jam delivers exactly what it promises in an entertaining manner. I’d love to find out who first got the idea of putting Michael Jordan, Looney Tunes, Bill Murray, and invading space aliens together.

If this movie was trail mix it would be mixed nuts, M&Ms, and peanut butter chips.

Fast Times at Ridgemount High (1982)

A bunch of high school students figure out life.

There isn’t much of a theme or goal uniting the students of Ridgemont High. They smoke things, screw things, and drive things. Nothing wrong with that. Though primitive, it’s a perfectly pleasant prototypical high school movie. Don’t expect profundity and you’ll enjoy the 90 minutes of your life it occupies.

If this movie was trail mix it would be Humpty Dumpty Bits & Bites and popcorn covered with THC butter.

Romeo + Juliet (1997)

You know this story. Romeo is played by Leonardo di Caprio, who has since been trying to escape typecasting as a prettyboy and mostly succeeding, though the Academy Award eludes him. Juliet is played by Claire Danes.

The problem with Romeo + Juliet is that they don’t throw ENOUGH ideas at it to liven it up. Sure, Mercutio is reinterpreted as a flaming black guy (Harold Perrineau), there are “Sword” brand guns, and a gang war between the Montagues and the Capulets. Baz Luhrmann specializes in visual smorgasbords but there isn’t enough novelty in this film to justify another adaptation, especially since the two leads – talented as they were, and are – are not up to the challenge of presenting Shakespeare.

Skip Romeo + Juliet and watch the 1968 adaptation instead.

If this movie was trail mix it would be that mostly dried cranberries, golden raisins, and sunflower seeds. Gross.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) falls in love with Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) but must fight her seven evil exes before they can be together.

Scott Pilgrim lives inside a videogame version of Toronto, where everything has a health bar and explodes into coins when defeated. It is an astoundingly beautiful movie to watch, which is expected, since it’s directed by Edgar Wright, he of the visual puns and fourth-wall painting hooligans. The story itself is not as dazzling as the detail in Scott’s encounters with the evil exes, but is still excellently sweet and unironic in its message.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is not the best or most enjoyable movie ever made, but it is well made, stylish, and a definite must-watch.

If this movie was trail mix it would be caramel popcorn, dark chocolate pieces, and whole almonds.

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