The Creepy Grad: Leaving Your Mark

Noj Footknee - 8=D NASG
Posted on: March 27, 2013

*** The Tin Soldier is intended to be a humorous and entertaining look at issues and events at the University of Waterloo. As such articles should not be taken to represent real events or opinions, and they should not be associated with the University of Waterloo staff or administration in any way. Any similarities to real world events, people or corporations is purely coincidental – or non-coincidental but meant in an entirely joking manner.***

Are you done your five to seven years here at the University of Waterloo and don’t feel as if you’ve reaped the full benefits of undergrad? Do you feel that you haven’t quite left your mark on the students who have once called you an upper year? Did you notice the new batch of strange faces when you set foot on campus for the first time in years? Are you still reading The Tin Soldier because you still want to learn about the latest things that engineering students nowadays do for fun? If you still have your WatCard handy and if it hasn’t expired yet because you “lost” your WatCard and got a new one right before you graduated with a different expiry date, why not take advantage of the ever-expanding student space and leave your mark on the students? In this article, I’ll be talking about how to leave your mark on the students of today.

The first thing you need to do is to visit an engineering event. Remember your last OT as an undergrad and realized how old you were when you weren’t able to recognize anyone? Don’t let that stop you! Not a current student? Hopefully one or two students in the crowd recognize you from somewhere, and hopefully you can use them as people you can hang out with until you get into the event. Once you’re in, you’re gold! Look around for some free food! Find some new friends, preferably first or second year students who you’ve never met because you’re too old to even realize that they were in grade school while you were in first year. Win them over and impress them by touching The Tool once it makes its appearance. Don’t you look super cool showing off your scratched up piece of hardware? Yeah you do!

Now that you’ve met the new bunch of first and second years, try to find out where the house parties are. Either someone will tell you, or you can sneak up on some of them and listen in on their conversations. Once you show up to the party, say you’re a Geological engineer. As the program with the smallest number of students in every year, the people at the party won’t doubt that fact at all. Unless you meet that one Geo student, in which case try to avoid them. They’ll blow your cover. If you do get ousted as that “creepy older guy/girl” at the party, just flaunt your iron ring. Those undergrads will be instantly captivated, and they’ll forget why a grad has shown up to their first year party.

Last but not least, bring a camera and take lots of pictures. Upload each and everyone of those photos to Facebook – don’t filter out pure gold! Hopefully those students you met that got you into the party in the first place added you on Facebook, as they’ll start tagging everyone who was at that party. Soon, you’ll have a new batch of friends on Facebook, and a good start to being in the know of how to be as cool as the cool kids in their class.

Simple as that! There are many ways to leave your mark on the new students, even after you’re done school. I left out some details of other things you can do at that party, but I’m pretty sure you’ll find that one person at the party that really wants to check out your ring!